&bang ;

Tuesday, April 13, 2010, 13.4.10

A Song for Him

when the world crumbles hard
i look up i saw you helding your hand
i hold it hard wishing it would stay long
cause every living creatures who tried to held their hands
it would slip away just as soon as the wind blew it away

i tot you were different
different from the past
i knew this would comes by
one day or another
i tried to tell myself
no dont get so pump up
but i fail to do so
i fall deep
deep into your spell
it blinded me with love
love that i can only think of

call me a liar
a liar i am
thats what people think i'am
i believe you were the only soul whom think am not
thats when i started to believe in you
wishing i was there by you
holding you tightly

you see the sun when i see the moon
its a total different time
you are miles away but i keep
telling myself its ok
you have a different life
from mine
but i told myself its ok
we can always help each other out

but out of a moon
you told me u can't take it any more
and am fine with it
i just wish for ur happiness
happy for who u r
and what you did
at least i appreciate the happiness
you led me thru for that period of time

it hurts badly
but its ok
sooner or later
by all luck or not
i need to get over it
over and done and vanish

if only you knew why am so fucktard
when you told me to be nice
cause the nicest thing they would want me
is to fuck off from you
and i told myself no not this time i dont want
every time i had to bck up
not this time i love him mom
idc yes i am a rebel
but am happy when am with him
if you hate him you hate me too

to tell the truth
sometimes i feel like letting go
cause i can't stand it the distance
but i try my best to stay put
cause i know you love me
and i dont want to dissapoint you
if he can loves me so do I
and i make it,
as days past the love burns deeper
deeper into my soul

i might be a flirt
but only one who stays in my mind
whom i mention to everyone i meet
never have i cry and saying anyones name except for mom
but this time i did it differently w/out realising
i cry and said ur name cause all i ever wish was for u to hug me and say its gonna be ok

and everytime before i sleep i cry
thinking of you.
i even tot of quiting college and come with you
cause i can't stand it much longer being too far from you

everyones against me
and i was wishing you were the only soul
whom i got for me to shed on
but you let me go too fast
alone and hurt with all the weights crumbling down on me
i wont blame you its understood
if i was you i would do the same too
who wants a problematic gf like me
its too stressful i know.

but all i wanna say is
i love you truthfully
believe it or not
i dont give a fuck
and i just wish you a happy life
and wishes you the best
in next life.

and all i wish now is am death
death as fast as i can
so things wont be fucktard anymore