omg!!
~am shaking!!~
i did something which i always wanted,
which am scared off,
and seriously i got no guts,
YES AM WEAK!!;and for this yes..
and i finally out of yearsssssssssssss,
i finally go against my guts,
today and am still shaking like hell!!

the outcome was seriously scary!!
have i not ever been this shaky!!!!in life!!
idk what would my parents think of the msg??
hmm~i hope they can really really think,
it's ok take time, am fine...human is still human...

humans are slow..and they tend to thing after their mistake..
oh we ain't god...even monks or priest or nun or imam or prophet,
are never out of doing mistakes..this is human..
god created us like this..
but it's better to realise mistake
rather then NEVER!

All i want to say is no one is perfect!

*am thinking of becoming a councellor,in councilling people,when i grow up*

OH THE OUTCOME WAS AS I EXPECTED,
MISUNDERSTANDING
A SCOLDING,&ALL I WROTE IS NO USE
CAUSE ALL CAME IS NEGATIVE TOTS
HMMM~ok ok its ok

i keep this is mind
if my own family can't understand me
how can others?
right?
you live your whole life with them
and they can't understand you
how can others who just knew you?
so why the need to understand me?
oh no need
its OK really
i no need anyone to understand me
cause idgad bout anyone anymore
idc even if you care
my heart has no care nomore
all black!
hatred,mean,anger,alone
don't talk to me now!
I hate everyone
~YES EVEN YOU WHO IS READING THIS!!!~
why care to read?
no i dont need sympathy
i dont need any care
just fuck off
leave me alone
go lead a happy peace life ok
and no need your care or love
i hate you!


__________________________________________________________________




hearts beating fast.it is red fresh.deliciously nice.
tears keeps falling.and now it has dry out.too much.
eyes are too weak to even open.my thought is screaming.
screaming to stop.so does my heart.cause all the freshness.
its turning all dark black.were one dont have any feeling.
were one dont care if people care.dont give a damn.
no not even the tiniest bit.not even care for ownself.
yes its like a piece of nut kept in a black box.
flood in the sea. all lonely in the dark.black.hard.
go with flow. where the currents take it.all else is darkness.
even if current goes ashore the nut is still in the dark.
black box.no use.dark.black.hard.alone.careless.
blood flowing but no care.let it flow.all.slowly.
dead is near.care?no.its the best dead.alone in darkness.
now everythings is darkness and black.
not just pysically but mentally and deeply.
knife?=cut=blood=dead=peace....
now tell me you love me i tell you this....

YOUFUCKINGGOFUCKYOURSELFYOUSOUGLYIHATEYOUFUCKINGGUYS..
ASKMESEXANDISAYOMGNOWONDERYOUSODESPERATEYOUTOOUGLYFORGIRLS..
ANDTELLMEOHYOUSOPRETTYCANIKNOWYOUIWOULDSAYTHISOHTHANKSBUTYOU
AREFUCKINGUGLYANDNOIDONTWANTTOKNOWAFUCKINGPERVERTGUYLIKEYOU
GOFUCKYOURSELFBUYYOURSELFAPUSSYTOYANDPLAYWITHITOHTHEYSELLITON
E-BAYYOUCANGOCHECKITOUT..YOUAREUGLYANDFATANDDESPERATE..OHREALLY
AMIABITCHOHYOUMAKENODIFFERENTIFYOUSAYIAMSOFUCKOFFBITCHBACKSOWHAT
IFAMABITCHYOUARETOOLOLLIKEICAREMUCHIFYOUEVENKILLORSAYMEABITCHALL
IWOULDSAYISOHREALLYTHANKSOKATLEASTIKNOWSOMEONEKNOWAMABITCHOK
ANDWALKSAWAY..MADDATMEOHREALLYAMGLADYOUAREMADATMETHANKSTHAT
WOULDMEANMYEFFORTISNOTATWASTEYAYHUGSKISSES..OHYOUWANTTOKILLME
PLEASEDOIHAVEBEENWAITINGALLMYLIFEFORTHISMOMENTPLEASEDOANDIWOULD
GLADLYAPPRECIATEITOHAMVERYTOUCHEDYOUWANTTOHELPMEOHMYAMCRYING
NOWREALLYREALLYILOVEYOUTOOMUCHFORDOINGAFAVORWHATCANIHELPINRETURN
HAUNTSYOUAMOKWITHTHATREALLYBUTSERIOUSLYAMVERYVERYTHANKFULTOYOU
FORVOLUNTEERINGTOKILLMEOKILLSTOPCALLINGYOUABITCHORADESPERADOIFYOU
DOTHATIWOULDBENICETOYOUTHENPLEASEDOKILLMEANDILOVEYOUTODEATH:)