~"Hear my untold SECRETS' CrashedLegend.."~

2010-05-02T03:48:00.000-07:00

oh yea i love this song&Band it suits my life NOW
i just wish i Burn AND Die ,

HollyWood Undead

Lyrics to Paradise Lost :
So watch my chest heave
as this last breath leaves me
I am trying to be
what you're dying to see

I feel like "Fuck man,
can't take this, anymore,
this heart, break this."
This is life that's so thankless,
How could he just forsake us?

Breaks us he makes us
hate us he gave us
nothing but no trust
and I am so f**ked up
So let this gun bind us
Lets hide by this lust
and once we are just dust
he'll know that he loved us

LET IT ALL BURN
I will burn first
God i've tried, am i lost in your eyes?

Just let me burn, it's what I deserve.
God i've lied, am i lost in your eyes?

So take me and make me
weakened and save me
this hate that you gave me
keeps saying the same thing

to sing when you hurtin'
to sing when you cry
to sing when you livin'
to sing when you die

and here at the end
at the end of the hurt
all the pain ain't the same
when it's your turn to burn
We're the heart for the heartless,
the thoughts for the thoughtless,
the lies for the honest
We're the gods of the godless!

Let it all burn
I will burn first
God of time, am I lost in your eyes?

Just let me burn
It's what I deserve
God of mine, am I lost in your eyes?

So cry 3 tears for me,
burning so good,
sing me this song

So cry 3 tears for me,
burning so good,
burning so good

I can not stand
who i am I'm this man
with this blood on my hands
in this blood I am damned
so watch my wings burn
as they burn in the fire
I'll scatter the ashes
now sing for the choir

Let it all burn,
I will burn first
God i've tried, am i lost in your eyes?

Just let me burn
it's what I deserve,
God i've lied, am i lost in your eyes?

This hate that you gave me keeps saying
Just let me burn,
Just let me burn

This hate that you gave me keeps saying
Just let me burn,
Just let me burn

Burn
NOW
Burn

Just let me burn
NOW
Burn

BURN!

2010-05-02T03:47:00.000-07:00

every night i cry to sleep
thinking and missing
the past times with him

at times i think
does he still care like he used too
maybe am not worth it

am sorry if things fucked up
put the blame on me
cause am cursed

problems after problems
as nights come
i close my eyes
wishing things would get better

but once i woke up
disaster slaps me multiple times
and the least i could wish for
was seeing you like old days
thats enough to wash out my sorrow

keeping me alive
and pump up
even tho its just a screen
happiness flow via the multiple molecules
from the air spaces

hoping he still care
like he used too
cause i cant stop loving him
even tho in reality
restriction puts us apart
but one out of another
i just hope, wish
him the best in life
living to the fullest and always having
happiness in life
and achieving his goals

one thing i would never forget
is how someone makes me feel special
i may have alot of exes
but i just wanna thanks them for making my life happy
at a certain point,
am thankful enough.
at least i gain happiness from past

think positive think straight
all thats matter now is to focus
calm down, be confident
think beauty :D

2010-05-02T03:45:00.000-07:00

Times clicking past
Clock moving fast
People comes and go
As Quick as the bullet shoot
Hit on every person

They keep on telling me
its Bullshit
I keep telling them NO
its aint

They told me you're too far
why am i still holding still?
not worth it

They are there to tc of me
but i dont want to care
i can't altho I tried

Hes the only exception
the one I think of
even when am with others

if ever things turn bad
healing process needed for me still
cause i've fallen deep too deep down
Down to where I feel Lonely
and sick without him

the lesser time i spend
with him the more the love grows
grows taller bigger deeper to the ground

sins done
forgives me baby
but god knows who am thinking of
only you in mind
TRUE love counts more then just other guys

All I could think of while laying
going to bed
was only him

they said they love me
but i dont feel the love
like he showed me
his is deep,
as deep as the ocean

I dont believe in love at first sight
i believe in love in sacrificing
when they look at me
all i can see is ily but idk you
i need a gf quick
you are the nearest

i respected people when they get to know me
before saying the word "Love"
Loving someone is hard to understand

easy to get to know if i really Love someone,
I would cry to his name,
Like i did for him,
I would look at your eyes and said ILY
and i meant it.
Not just a bit but ILYSM

And only him I would say too.
And i would sacrifice sleep just for him
Hes my LOVE,Ian Wilde. :D
ILYSM

2010-05-02T03:37:00.000-07:00

4 months have past since new year.
2009 was a bad year; as much happened in 2009.
theres goods and bad in every year.
hoping 2010 would be much better,
but turns out to be much worse,
guess things will get better sooner or later.
i'll keep praying hard, even tho am not that religious.
i still pray quietly that things would get better.

everykid would be super glad when they reach that age
18-21; the period where one celebrates of having priviledge
doing anything without getting caught.
like Hey am 18, i can buy my own cig/alcohol and watch m18 movies.
and when am 21, i could legally watch r21 or enter a sexshop.
if you're in US,you can buy alcohol or get in a strip bar.
am not talking about the age rights of the outside laws for now.
whats the topic for discussion for today is
how teenagers feel about having rights of doing things they want,
and getting supported by both friends and family.
how many percent of the family out there support their teenager in this modern days?
have you ever do a gig performance and
1 before you go out your family wishes you goodluck
when you comes back they asked you how was it & supported you
even when the crowds wasn't that overwhelm.
2 your dad volunteered to send you to the gig place themself.
or even stayed and watched/ cheer you up.
or maybe joke with you " hey maybe you get a lady for the night,wink!"

or where a scenario of telling them you gonna make a band?
what would their reaction be?
i had not done any survey; but i guaranteed 99% of the parents would go,
"don't you have a better dream?"
"you're just wasting your time with that stupid gig, band stuff"
"you should be studying"

firstly before you scold your son/daughter where you learnt all those crude words,
when you hear them saying it out, ask yourself, have you used it on them.
maybe you can't remembered or maybe not on them, maybe to other random people.

Teenagers are like babies they catch words easily too.
Teenager are the most sensitive period of a persons life.
its normal if your son/daughters a rebel this is part of teenagers.
this is the period where one try to adapt to the outside world,
trying new things, bad or good, where one fails and learnt from it.
like the quote meant it "success is from failing".
unless you are born in a rich family,well not everyone is lucky enough.
even the rich kids are rebellious too.
try asking their parents.

Being a teenager myself I know how hard it is to be one.
its like everything is against you.
one always wishes they get supported by families&friends in doing the things they enjoy.

For myself am happy when am doing art, listening to music and sharing it with clicks
whom enjoys the same genres as me.
And I believes you dont need to be super intelligent to achieve these goals.
Am not asking you guys to burnt down or skip schools or books,
what am implying is that if you want to be an musician or artist,
you need not take a Master or PHD to be one.
its about having passion and practicing on obtaining the skills needed.

this teles when you ask someone who hates art to draw,
he/she would go 'are you kidding me'ends up they gives up or just draw something simple
Some people were born with talents like drawing or singing,
but what I can say what people do not know is that yes maybe they git the blood of an artist or singer;
but what i can say is from my perspective, thats Bullshit!
why I say this cause tell me which baby after a min being born can sing or draw like Leonardo Da Vinci?
Even his son cant do that.neither does any singer or famous artists sons/daughters out there can.
its the matter of they themselves have passion on it and learnt it themselves or
they were taught at a young age and as times goes by they gets better.

what best is they get support by their families&crews.
whether youre a teenager or a parents, its best to support each other.
i got plenty of Tips of do and donts of building a good relationship;
basically not only use for witin families matter but also with anyone
eg, boss,crew,members.

TIPS;

1) always support one another decision
2) always lend a helping hand
3) stop everything; listen carefully, when someone is talking
4) Always think before you do something; would you be happy later if you do this?
if yes, continue; if no, find something you are happy doing.
5) Never put anyone down, even if you hate them.If you didnt;
once you regain your mind, apologize.
6) Always think of being happy, do the things you enjoy
7) Never mention bad pasts of someone, it would bring back bad memories,
everyone has a bad pasts memories they wanna forget,
so never mention it, what pasts is past.
8) Be nice to people if you want to be treated nicely back.
9) Keep in touch with the people, youll never know when you need them,
so its not like youre using them, only find them when you need them.
10)Try to have a get together day every month with friends and crews.
11)Have dinner together every weekend as a family; spend time together,
ask your kid/parents what they did&how things going on for the whole week?

Quickly to summaries everything up is always support one another,respect ones decision,
and always keep in track with the people you Care.So i Hope this helps you guys.
Any question do ask me I'll try to search on it, am not an experts to give a very good ideas,
but am trying to share what i Learnt and Found out from what I have obtain from Knowledge on reading psychology books.
Cheers and Happy days to you people and always Stay Happy in doing the things you enjoy :)

2010-04-15T03:08:00.000-07:00

shouts and curse
gets deep into me
years by days

that day changed everything
i was the kid
a loser kid
who's just dumb
and follow the shit

shit which i dont even know
but was blame for being a fool
even tho i was a loser kid
whom didn't know shit

as i grew up knowing what it is
it stays as a deep scar
that follows me around

everytime mistakes done
the scar comes back
from curses i have to endure

don't blame me for not having confidence in myself
cause i tried my best to stand strong
but things just crumbles down
every time i manage to overcome it
before i could fully lift it away
another comes tumbles down on top of it

and am still trying hard
alone by myself now
sometimes giving up is in my dictionary
but i eliminate it
by telling myself yes i can do it

and when i fall down
no angel gonna help me up
maybe they'll come
but they would leave you
as soon as things are way beyond their weight
then another comes and leave too
and the same goes on and on

this is my life
endures, pain, being left
please dont say you care
if you know you can't mean it forever
this is the reason why its hard for me to trust
cause i knew people comes and go
and they only meant it at the moment

the reason why its hard
to fall in love that easy
once you fall deep
you just find its just a sweet dream
which dont last long
nightmares are the ones
who is your true follower

i just wish
i was swept away to a deserted island
which i can stay alone
alone by myself
and idw to be rescued
i just wanna die there
at least its peaceful

every night i cry
thinking of my sucky life
even when i try to make it better
none appreciate

psychology books are my true friends
it keeps me pump up being positive
even if its a while
thanks god theres psychology

shouts again
earphones on music blast
stop all the negativity
i dont care no more
am not with him anymore mom
so you can jump hell yay

for info he was the one who guide me
who told me to listen to you
i was the one whom is bad
why must you blame him
blame me, not him

yes am the bad bitch
now murder me alrdy
my guide is no more
thanks to you, its always ended up this way
near or far relationship
yes its pitiful

am 20 but lifes a hell for me
whats the point of living old when you get yell at
negativity throw at you daily
kill me alrdy
use a knife pierce it into me
shoot me with a gun
hit my head hard that my brain comes pouring out

am sick of crying
even if i cry out blood
things wont change
let it go and move on
all i can do.
is keep myself pump up
and happy :)

A Song for Him

2010-04-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

when the world crumbles hard
i look up i saw you helding your hand
i hold it hard wishing it would stay long
cause every living creatures who tried to held their hands
it would slip away just as soon as the wind blew it away

i tot you were different
different from the past
i knew this would comes by
one day or another
i tried to tell myself
no dont get so pump up
but i fail to do so
i fall deep
deep into your spell
it blinded me with love
love that i can only think of

call me a liar
a liar i am
thats what people think i'am
i believe you were the only soul whom think am not
thats when i started to believe in you
wishing i was there by you
holding you tightly

you see the sun when i see the moon
its a total different time
you are miles away but i keep
telling myself its ok
you have a different life
from mine
but i told myself its ok
we can always help each other out

but out of a moon
you told me u can't take it any more
and am fine with it
i just wish for ur happiness
happy for who u r
and what you did
at least i appreciate the happiness
you led me thru for that period of time

it hurts badly
but its ok
sooner or later
by all luck or not
i need to get over it
over and done and vanish

if only you knew why am so fucktard
when you told me to be nice
cause the nicest thing they would want me
is to fuck off from you
and i told myself no not this time i dont want
every time i had to bck up
not this time i love him mom
idc yes i am a rebel
but am happy when am with him
if you hate him you hate me too

to tell the truth
sometimes i feel like letting go
cause i can't stand it the distance
but i try my best to stay put
cause i know you love me
and i dont want to dissapoint you
if he can loves me so do I
and i make it,
as days past the love burns deeper
deeper into my soul

i might be a flirt
but only one who stays in my mind
whom i mention to everyone i meet
never have i cry and saying anyones name except for mom
but this time i did it differently w/out realising
i cry and said ur name cause all i ever wish was for u to hug me and say its gonna be ok

and everytime before i sleep i cry
thinking of you.
i even tot of quiting college and come with you
cause i can't stand it much longer being too far from you

everyones against me
and i was wishing you were the only soul
whom i got for me to shed on
but you let me go too fast
alone and hurt with all the weights crumbling down on me
i wont blame you its understood
if i was you i would do the same too
who wants a problematic gf like me
its too stressful i know.

but all i wanna say is
i love you truthfully
believe it or not
i dont give a fuck
and i just wish you a happy life
and wishes you the best
in next life.

and all i wish now is am death
death as fast as i can
so things wont be fucktard anymore

2010-03-31T23:44:00.000-07:00

My bf actually wrote this to me, so I wanna share it, thanks Ian, ILYSM

i wanted to write you something because i know uve been having a hard time lately, but its so hard for me when i just go and try to do it, ill do it sometime when im siting around not doing anything tho. but i read this and wanted to share it with you. cause I LOVE YOU :D :) :*

I love you with all I am

And all I'll ever be.

You are my moon, my sun and stars,

My earth, my sky, my sea.

My love for you goes down and down

Beneath both life and death,

So deep it must remain when I

Have drawn my last faint breath.

Holding you for months and years

Will make Time disappear,

Will make your lips my lips, your face

My face, your tear my tear;

Will make us one strange personage

All intertwined in bliss,

Not man or woman, live or dead--

Just nothing--but a kiss!

i cant wait until we can be together! i love you jannah and always will. my love for you burns in my chest a million times brighter than the sun. i think of u and immidiatly become happy, butterflys flying. my hands sweat on the keyboard when typing to you, i turn red when i do something i'm akward about, i smile so hard my face hurts for days. You're amazing in every way, and im sorry you've been having trouble at home, and anytime your in a situation to where somethin bad has happened or something is going wrong... stop and think about what if it were me and u were giving me advice, what would u tell me?

do ur best, work ur ass off, save your money, and email/talk/call/txt/any form of communication, until we can be together.

I LOVE YOU NURULJANNAH!! SO MUCH!! YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE AND OUT, DONT EVER FORGET THAT!

you are my soul mate :)

LOVE Ian Wilde LOVE Jannah Wilde

Hey bf here’s a letter back to you, maybe I don’t dare to give you but I hope you read it here on my blog, I do really love you badly that am scared of losing you,

Hate the distance, and knowing you’re gonna be well busy after you move out to lousiana, but am happy for you for real! , I will always LOVE you tho, I keep telling myself no don’t fall too hard or I might get hurt, like you said to me. Am guessing both of us having doupt, but all I wanna say is that I do LOVE you really, and I don’t care bout other guys, not even if they look like Andy sixx or Oliver sky .

& Thanks for making my life feel better, I know you try hard and am sorry if I tried to do stupid things. Remember this no matter what happened between us I will always love you and promise you won’t do stupid stuff and do take care of your health.

I don’t want to see you get hurt or get into trouble my dear, I’ll always Care and worry bout You. I love you so much. Even tho you’re far away from me am worry hell I swear.

And always remember this people always tell the people you love and care for them, so they know theres someone out there who really do. Always motivate them in life, never let anyone down. Best to support each others decision in any matter. Am not saying the bads, but tell them no matter what am here for you and always will even if you fall down. That’s life always failing and falling, but you gotta wake up and stand back yourself, as a friend,parents,family, gf/bf you got to be there to motivate him/her in standing up on her own and it would make them more motivated in life. to this I love everyone I know and never give up, and choose the right path which would make you happy for yourself, I know its best to make people happy, yes but before making anyone happy make yourself happier first. In this point its not selfish, its just putting you on a happy based so you can make others happy too + yourself. So good luck people in everything you do.

2010-03-29T23:47:00.000-07:00

its been a mth and a wk now
i dont know if you keep track of it
but I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND, IAN WILDE

ILY IAN

2010-01-13T17:46:00.000-08:00

I dont know where am at and my mind keeps changing.its like am psycho.the reason i am into psychology is to know who am i.and knowing how the brain works.afterlife mind works.emotions too changes the mindset.have you wonder why do you like someone?or why they like you? why do you feel sad when things you care or appreciate loses?shall continue....

2010-01-08T22:14:00.000-08:00

I wish he knows how much i miss him more then he miss me...
one minutes of me talking to my sis hah "i already miss you "
one sec you say you wanna make coffee " one sec seems like hours.."
everynight i hope to see you online,but they keep asking me to sleep,
well for now i got to do what am told yea, for my own good, and for health too.
Am loving it. it's ok if i dont see or talk to you for days,at least I know you miss me,
just like i miss you is enough, i wont ask much, am thankful enough for the tiniest bit.
and i still love my friends and always be there for them anytime. so dear friends..
i love you all,and if theres any problems which you people feels sad or down bout,
feel free to let it out, i can't promise you i guaranteed for your happiness, but all i can do,
is to cheer you guys up at the moment and that one short moment is worth in making,
a friend smile and forget her/his sorrows..so hip hip hooray people.and all i ask for is,
just be happy and always smile even if am not part of it. I LOVE YOU ALL.
kisses and hugs xoxoxoxo :P

2010-01-06T05:12:00.000-08:00

i had a moment of thinking a while ago,i was thinking and vision what should i do in the future,
seriously i got no interest in the course am taking,am more to psychology,fashion design,culinary either of these.and i was telling myself hey what do i like?idk myself.how i wish i could live like the life of the group of rainbows, who they dont bother to think of money and other stuff just be together and happy. ashraft was like telling me bout these group of people its super interesting,
yes..some might think its a myth but i do believe in these kinda people and i would say i look up to these kinda people cause they can do so much better of then those people who is living high now..i meant they are living happy without money etc. all they do is help each other.what matters in lifeis it money?education?having name?why do we care so much of that?what do we get if we get name? so what?everyone fight for this.. why?why does money matters so much until people can go rob a bank and sacrifice their life just for a piece of paper?why does people study so high?what do they get?recognization and a good job and they get a work with huge salary which is the same as wanting a good salary more money to earn.whats so good of this paper which makes every humans go blinded..i dont understand.i hate this money blinded world.
i wanna be one of the rainbows i wish i can migrate and join them. i dont mind. and ashraft was telling me bout his dream somehow idk why but i tot of it maybe its much better. and the best is these kinda people dont mind their group having different religion. what matters is making one another happy and who cares about money and standard.hey maybe we both can join the rainbow my dear ashraft.

2010-01-02T03:47:00.000-08:00

have you ever felt when you're with someone you dont know quite well,
like you just met this person and it feels so nice and comfort that it feels,
like you knew that person for long,it just feels the warm comfy feeling..
not like when you go out with someone you just know and having
that weird akward feeling.no i dont feel akward at all.its like i knew
you for long and i know i can trust you then any other peeps. dont
ask me why,i dont know myself.i even have a dream of after school ends,
i could migrate and study there too :), hah weird dream i guess....
hello mr packs ily opps did i say ily? no no i was implying to the D&G model
hahahahas :P ily=I LOVE Yatch,I Lick Yam,Its Lonely Yea..^U^

oh yea wanna thanks dr ashraft wannabe for the treath..i LOVE the apple crumbles..
and for everything hope you love the present hoho and have a nice trip bck to france :D

2009-12-25T07:58:00.000-08:00

Life is clueless,when one is deep
one moment you know you are deep down
next you are mixing up and not care bout anything
how deep are you?are you as deep as me
my wish is to see every lil human on this planet smile
no war no blood shed where we care for one another
even the tiniest bit,what most human think is themself
yes, they are selfish, one another fights for ownself,to be high
and critize those who are slow or fails,those whom are rich..
look down on those poor kids,like how they can afford having cars,
buy branded stuff, and showing it off at schools, and when the un-
affordable kids look they get envy and the only way they can get those
stuff are by stealing it.and which ends up in prison or boys home.and
once they got a record in there ppl look down on them again. oh this kid is
someone bad,he/she has gone in prison before.why? they do all these, ask them
you'll know why,rather then talking non-stop talking bad bout them,critising them,
which makes one much worst then those ppl.even michael make a video about the world
its bold of him, and he got critize just for being nice,see this view,people are dying to be bad.
they fight to be top in putting ppl down.not fight for positive, instead fight for negativity.
this is earth.if theres other planet with living things,they would put earth as their comedy
show/entertainment laughing to the stupidity of the creatures living on earth.
even aliens can live harmoniously what a shame dont you think so?i think not we should
be afraid of aliens but instead aliens should be afraid of us instead.

another word i can say i care for everyone expecially those whom I know and close with.
and am happy mom and me are fine now..i love you people. just one advice to you all whom
am close, always think you're special and dont give up in life, be positive no matter what,
or how hard you work, deep down at least one person is thankful of what you've done ...
thank you everyone for being my friend and always be by my side,even if not always, but
the past times is still appreciated by me :) and for mom,i love you always whether if you
are mad or you hate me,idc what you want to think but if you ever knew i always cry and pray
at night for ur safety everytime you go to work. and yea god do take care of her when my
love ones are out, keep them save from danger, may angels protect them from bad things..
i love you all and thank you people :D

2009-12-18T07:01:00.000-08:00

When you're in Love,
everything seems to be like in fairytales,
where the butterflies are beautiful,
the sunny stars shine brightly,
and the smile on your cheeks are always UP.

What I can tell is that yes I think am in Love,
idk why, but I keep smiling,blushing at the thots of you.
and how i wish the day we will be meeting is fast forward..

I used to have a broken fragile heart,
where any guys whom try to enter fails to fix it right.
cause I just can't accept guys no matter how or what.
am not saying they are mean towards me or what,
I just dont feel the waves or connection..
the electric waves of two humans need to be connected,
in order to fall in love, and this is when both understands one another dearly.
and this occurs even when you dont see em, or when you see em..

why does my heart changes when he's on?it's like I always look forward to seeing him.
no matter how we nvr meet,i still feel the connection,idk why..
is it just the brain playing??theres this part where i was thinking,
to like him or him..4 yrs of liking someone diff,turn to just one turn of liking someone else,
which idk much,but the connection is much stronger then the 4 yrs of liking another person,
yes its weird or is this what they call the magic of love?

all i wish for christmas is you..to see and spend time with you..
thats it.. not more..and i just wish my wish would come true..
at least i have something to be happy of for this yr..
2009 have been a hell yr for me..and i just wanna start my new yr 2010,
happily..thats all i wish for before my bday..to see him before he goes back for studies..

i just want to say this to that person if he knew it's for him..
idk why but i think i fallen for you,and you show me how to love again,
you show me that not all guys out there are the same,
you told me that your kind are very rare, yes i agree.
you told me you wanted to raise your son in teaching him,
how to cook,gardening and respect women..and you wanna save the mankind,
of these kinda type of gentlemen..you told me about the music waves etc.
it doesn't have any topic on what most guys would talk with me..
this is why i think you are different.your mindset,your personalities.
is much more matter to me then how you look,idc how curly is your hair,
or how your eyes look bad, how much you drink ,how rich you are,
or how many packs you have, or how bad the connection is,
its nice you said sorry, but its ok, i understand, seeing you on9 and talking to me,
alrdy makes my heart skips alot.and the next day starting off with a smile and gd mood,
at work,thinking of you..everytime when am in the train i just cant wait to get home ,
to go online to talk to you.its ok if you dont reply within a min..i'll still wait....
it's ok if you fall asleep while chatting.it's ok if you when awy or didn't say bye..
cause i appreciate your apologies the next day telling the truth of what happened.
at least i know..everytime i miss you i hug my teddy calling your name as you name it,
i know the distance kills,when i go out i see couples together i wish i can be like them,
with you..but i believe one day we can meet and things would change in yrs to come :)
if the connection waves is still strong...i believe that one day we can be together just like,
the other couples ..i nvr tell you this directly yet, but i just wish to tell you..
I LOVE YOU.and I'LL WAIT FOR YOU anytime :D

ps:// i hope he reads it and knows its him....

2009-12-10T22:35:00.000-08:00

well its been a while since i post something.
hah,alot of things are happening and had happened,
found a job, 18chefs, yea.. buzy with work,
and exams and finally it's OVER!!
today was the last day of school!!
HELL WOOHOOOO...
the day i waited for!
and it's hols now until the 5th Jan :)
And I can't Wait to go KL..
Yea to meet my French Guy Friend, Ashraft :D
Wait up for me dude!!. hahahahahas..
And yea A big Happy Birthday to You From me,
no worries Am sure to Sing LIVE for you when we meet ..
hahahas..oh lala i can't WAIT..hahas..
If I could, I would buy a tix to KL now!!
hahahas..but i guess should wait up for my cousin to get here and get bck to KL, with them :D
lalalalas..

2009-11-22T17:54:00.000-08:00

Ok yesterday I was expecting my day to be dull, it turn out something different at the end,

cause i met someone,Pratik chef, he's awesome, someone who has a mindset like me...
the soft side of me, why i say he's awesome, someone who thinks independent,
and have fun at the same time, and a real gentleman, so we were supposed to watch 2012,
but turns out no time, cause both we like am waiting for your call, and am expecting your call too.
hahas.. but turns out we met a while at yishun for dinner, we had dinner at "eighteenchefs"
both of us had cheesepasta+spicy garlic+chicken sausage+vanilla ice cream+ice lemon tea..
can i rate the shop?1/10 i give 9.5.. it's awesome.. where's the 5% goes??? hahas the food is too lil,
but the food is awesome. plus it has a reasonable price too. i would say awesome. a definedly must try food outlet.so before meeting pratik i was like hanging out infront of the shop, and one of the service was explaining about the student meal, after commenting "yea i like your hair" thats what pratik said too.. hehe..thanks people for the compliment, you guys look awesome too :) a lil stry bckground of the shop :HERE:
whats best about the shop is the atmosphere and i would say the people..looking awesome and cool.and i would say i love the tattoo guy wall deco there..it's artistic.and i was like asking out cause syuha was telling me about the background of the shop, and yea i asked the service crew about it yea.. it's like my dream to learnt cooking with jamie oliver, since he's my favourite chef so far.i love his cooking style.and i think he's awesome cooker..hahas can i marry someone like him.i need a chef hahahas..."pratik?" LMAO..am just kidding.but yea cheers to you and the treath for the meal,so much appreciation and thanks..and knowing you, someone who have the same mindset of me is just so awesome. cause i dont get to know ppl like this often..having same interest in cooking..i just love baking.i have the passion, but well since am in business IT .lets be with it yoz.this is my dream to open a double storey shop on top is fashion boutique below is a cafe. i just love baking and fashion art+music. thats who i am.lets try hard and make my dreams come true...=)
I LOVE FOOD
:P

*ice lemon tea in a bottle like,how creative!*

*baked cheese pasta *:P

*ice/cream, and ytd was vanilla for the day * =P

[pictures are found on the net, not mine cause i didn't took picture of the food, what a waste.. i would next visit.. dont worry and next i so must order 18 funky strawberry ice cream :P]

2009-11-22T17:30:00.000-08:00

It's been a while,since my last post..
so on saturday was the event itselfs..
the barbecue event,i doesnt turn out big ,
but it was fun, thanks guys for coming and enjoying it,
I really want everyone to have fun on the day .....
but i would say am not a good organizer, but i do hope everyone enjoys the party.
theres pictures in my facebook so check it out to see it.
BBQ STAOP 21STNOV09

so it was in the morning when i did the paste,stigray,
and soon before hand met aida and waited with my dad below for my friend azri for car,
i wanna thanks azri for having the trouble to sent us all there,
so much appreciation,you're a nice guy :),
and btw here's something for you , its ok if we make mistakes in driving,
just chill , try an error,its ok..=) am thankful enough you took the trouble to sent us there,
very very thankful, idk how to thanks you much more.but all i can say is drive carefully and chill.
and yea thanks for introducing a new friend,nina,someone bright and cool.
yea nina, you should hang out with us more :) cheers to a new friend made,

and thanks to Kinney and Yanto for making it much more perfect,
you guys are cool!ily guys..hugs..take care you two, you guys are such an awesome friend ,
let's do syisha-ing next mth, weeeeeeeeeee =) and am glad you guys met my girlfriends and get to know them and all and yea we're cool, hahas, it's like our click of friends getting bigger, am so touched ..aweee...am glad u guys all click together yoz..they're the best friends i got =D
and yea thanks guys for scotchtaping us all..hahas altho its crazy but its fun, funny ..
i'll definedly celebrate ur bday when the time is :)

everyday am thankful when i met new ppl,cause i can learn about them,
good or bad,it's still interesting.thats something i learn everyday in life, every single day is to learn something new in life.. isn't it interesting.

...my fav pict of the party...

2009-11-05T23:17:00.000-08:00

*invites to my bestgf partay*i love you guys!*
*design and plan all by me :D

Hello Bananas Choco :P,

wow i want that dear badly,well alot of things happened lately,
like bands,gigs,parties plans.. and add on to problems..
Yes I may look happy and all.not that I dont have Problems,
I do..but I just dont think of it, i take it the positive way...
Well thats life,theres ups and downs..maybe now am having bad,
but i know sooner theres something else which is much better to expect,
and sulking and getting tense up won't make me bttr, it only result in worst sit.,
Thats how I stay Happy always.. every lil things, i will see the positive side..
if you put your mind this way, am sure your life would be fine :)

And theres an event to my porkies bday!!(*made an invitation,check it out..on top*) I LOVE THEM TOO MUCH!
IDK why, but all matters for me is to make them happy, cause I care so much for them,
i just wanna see their smiling face when they see my special suprise.personally I nvr
care so much for ppl like I do nowadays. idk why..They are my best moment this yr..
Thanks God for I met this 2 ppl.Even if I just know them like a yr plus,not that long.
But my care for them is so much..maybe I know why..
*i dont have a bf to care , so I care for them more.
*I dont receive much Care personally, so its bttr I show my care to someone who is worth it.
*Am Thankful that finding them is the bestest that happened to me this yr.
*due to my shitty yr for this yr and they are the TOP1best that happened for me in 2009.
*So why not appreciated my bestest thing
*They are NICE ppl, ppl who motivates me when am down,so now its my turn to do gds to them.
*They are the ppl I share problems with..and feeling together..(we can sit and cry together for one person unhappy moment),it shows our connection of friendship..

I was asking myself why do I care for ppl??Why do I always help ppl?
seriously what I want to do is make this world a bttr place , so everyone is happy..
At least make a different in someone Life..IDC if they would to Thank me ltr in life or not.
At least I know they are happy..If I can't make myself happy, at least make someone else I care happy :) that be my happiness now..Cause I know I can't be super happy...due to pastlifes...but hey if the people I care is happy why not..at least they are happy..that put me to happiness in my Life..:D

*to syuha&chanelle*
dont worry I make sure you guys have the love and care..
bestfriends

2009-10-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

basically the day before yesterday I met my girls and we when to discuss about our 21st outing,and they force me to give them hint... fine!! thats the hint its somewhere sandy, east coast+dress+sexy foods..the rest is up to me to suprise you girls ok..dont ask too much hahas..then it won't be suprise as I wanna see how you girls look like..hahahas..but dont worry I'll make it the best memorial birthday you girls could think of.

so ytd when for audition, and basically I pass and according to leader,adit,hahas,found drummer,only guitarist and bassist,keyboardist,and sorry guys am only good in singing rockish english songs hahas...and I need lyricsss...yea i'll do my homework in finding a goos song to sing.=),no worries ,so basically it was my first time am nervous yea..hahas i seriously thinks i sucks badly..lol.another apology to you guys..what i did was to sing "evanesence-bring me to life" lol..but it was AWESOME.something cool and new.And yea good luck to your upcoming gig on the 21st,sorry cause i got my suprise party same day.. :P but am here to support you guys always..yeaa ROCK on guys..

after audition when to meet my best guys,am thankful they are such a nice guys, someone who i can share problems with..yea i want my pict,yanto!! hahas..and now i will remember you by "what your real real real real name?" hahahas was such a big crack when you repeated the real alot of times hahahas..lol and yea i pray for both of you,yanto and kinney a lot of happiness and hope your problems are fine and you get the person you guys longing to be with yea..cheers dudes..

Today morning was fucked up, things happened,which i dont think i would share here,but am fine, am thinking positive, its ok, this is life, life has it ups and down. so maybe now is my bad times, and soon i'll get something good in life, something much better :) am always thankful...
thanks god for all these :)

2009-10-24T03:45:00.000-07:00

Hey this week was a lil outing run for me,
on wednesday I when out to interview,fails, so after that I when out to esplanade alone, I was relaxing at the river line,watching the river, and i encountered weird situations,but it was funny and werid at the same time, cause I was sitting alone and some kids from overseas when to me and when " hey could we take a picture with you?" so yea why not, and 2 photographer was caught taking a picture of me while am sitting and puffing alone by the river.yea am not a superstar.LOL

and on thursday after school when out with my asshole slut friend lol, its funny,the best experience is seeing the girl who opens up her "tabung terbuka" yea, and i donated 2 bucks to some philippines donation for the poor childs in phillipines,hahahas..and we have our special handshake yea,rock it asshole.hahas.cheers to rico.

And I just have to add this on, may you have a safe and wonderful trip to paris ashraft.have fun there,study hard and do your best yea..and hope the connection there doesnt sucks as much in malaysia. LOL.

basically yesterday was the team building,well I was expecting it to be super fun,but it turn out not as I expected, but well at least I had fun after that, firstly my team build a sandcastle and we were required to do it on a soft sand with the help of one small pail and a lil water,but with teamwork we could finish up the sandcastle it turns out superb,so after basically building the sandcastle we had to modify our neighbours built sandcastle,so when we got to ours our sandcastle had turn into suncastle so yea.i'll show the picture if mr ang download on facebook soon. But somehow I feel so frustrated on that day Idk why,but thanks to the guys who cheer me up, you guys are awesome yea..we so should hang out more!!they are the funniest batch of guys who are awesome. so was supposed to met V but then she had bike prac so yea, instead i go meet the guys, so we were hanging out at town, and one of them(yanto), had to wait for his friend which we turns out having to go thru and fro from the mrt to far east plaza twice.and it turns out ok well..so i had great time with them eating at indonesian restaurant, well its nice really only spicy,agrees to yanto yup.altho kinney wanted to go for pastamania, ok fine next time then ok :),so after meeting the girls, we when to sheesha!!.yea took some silly picts thanks to yanto for using my phone and taking the silliest pictures of the boys. soon after that as Ane(indian slang) have to go back, he's the funniest one.so we waited for yanto friend,girl come out from bugis and meet her so abbas too had gone home, left me,kinney,yanto,and julia?(yanto friend),i still can't remember her name well, so we when to eat at long john silver.by the time i was feeling sleepy as nowadays am pron to sleep early well am force to, due to start of school term and family thinks am like always going to school late, which basically go to school fast doing nothing cause i have done all the assignments given.so i was way sleepy n i have to get a puff when out of ljs,alone, and theres this dude who wink at me and give me his no. on a paper, euw, and one of the worker in ljs trying to flirt with me by asking alot of question,basically it was like hello whats ur name babe?just got back from work?so you came with your bf huh?i just when yea hahas, LOL,guys duh when they flirts and they know you are single they start to flirt more. so yea fuck you!,i was being nice to him cause he was kinda look like the uncle who is sick and i got to work to earn money for a living, so am working hard,well i have a thing in sympathising these kinda people.i just have it in me, idk why.but some are just asshole and pervert.

heres the end,great days to the new wonderful people I know.

2009-10-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

Gosh its been a lil mess up lately,oh yea things gone down a lil lately, but am trying best to control and go with fate and flow, be positive :),altho yea theres times when am at low,but hell yea i got to keep motivating myself,and i really need a job, bills is like 200+ and gosh its only by using the grps,well hell yea, now am brainstorming on this to pay up on the bills, and a lil brag issues,i miss going out with my girls :(,am looking forward to that day yea..am so planning something be on the things on me yea girls.i miss going out yea=missing the hols times..basically at sch theres not much work done,only during PIC period.gosh!i feel so wasted,like my time is sweep away doing nothing and with that time i can do something important ,like work end money and pay bills and get what I wanted.

2009-10-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

Gosh school nowadays is like soooo Boring,
Basically we have 2 modules to learn,
and all we do is one assigment and the rest is playing the com,
our another teacher was on his reservist so yea..but yea finally he came bck today
so yea i hope theres studies..i feel so wasted going to sch no studies,
with the time i could do alot of stuff or at least find a work and earn!!

seriously i need to work,no matter how i dont want..
and oh shit i used my dad phone till 200 bucks and it creates a big havoc
and what i did was just use twitter &facebk to twit and comment while in m'sia thats all.
didn't knew its gonna be so freaking expensive..bla bla bla..

so its another boring day, and so me and syuha when out to cck to hit C-on.
yea bought a top thats all, and i had american carrot cake!LOVE.
i hated carrot cake but i love this one only!!so yea the sales person was like
"oh hello girls wow your spects are like huge,bla bla,where you guys from?,
oh you got nice fashion, bla bla.. here take this pamplet if sch have event can order
cakes i'll give discount, and this is another site to visit,a fashion site,i sure you'll like it..
yea yea bla bla bla.".well to be truth it didn't flattered me at all.. instead it freaked me out!!

gosh I need a LIFE seriously!!

2009-10-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

Finally its Friday!soon its gonna be the Weekend!Hell Yea!,i sprain my back muscles since Tuesday,and I cant walk properly,am like Limping Zombie!,thats how I walk to school today!!it looks total Retarded yea!haha I always look Retarded tho.

Ok for Today Entry am gonna talk bout my friends wow Alot actually!!

Ashraft

Thanks for being such an angel, gosh seriously you're Cool, hahas IDK why I enjoy talking to you, but i pray for the best of your life =) You are like angelic dude!!,hahas gosh come on you must have something BAD you cant be as perfect rite..lol,but i LOOK UP on you,someone to be inspired and look up to,love the way your mind works.
POSITIVE PEACE EARTH to yaaaa..

Ryan

oh my you're a wonderful dude,am so happy for you that you and your gf is happy now =),much appreciation to YOU BOTH!!i hope you guys are doing well and happy always..and i pray you guys stay long together =)

Syuha&Aida

You guys are the most appreciated person I known that had happened to me lately, am glad I know both of you!,you guys are great and wonderful.syuha: dont be sad things happened for a reason,you know you can always share and let it out to me all,you have me by your side always,i pray for the best in your life and better more better then what you lose,one day you'll get.
Aida:I miss you so much,i hate the fact we not in the same sch,and yea dont be sad of the past think of the future and now,i pray for you n bf to be long ok,no matter what happened or happening i'll always there for you too,pray for you BOTH LONG HAPPINESS,ILY BOTH.

AndyRezeira
Thanks for blogging bout me,its so nice of you!!all i can say is am touch that someone appreciated the real me :).i pray for your happiness.

theres alot of people who I have to thanks but for now i can write until now,i'll thank EVERYONE who makes wonders to my life!and who appreciate me for who I am.ILY all!thanks ALOT!i pray for the EARTH HAPPINESS FOR ETERNITY.oh happy Earth day is EVERYDAY!!

2009-10-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

Since am like being tagged on facebook I just post it here too for view to others :) and i find 25 is not enough!! LOL

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

1>am like a health freak nowadays,i buy alot of health/beauty products..

2>i have a thing for medicines & herbs

3> i LOVE mints&greentea

4>Am very Emotional

5>When I care for someone I meant it I really care for them.

6>I dont fall in love easily

7>I suffer from Insomnia

8>theres things that traumatise me from PAST which I can never share..(*dont try asking, am not gonna tell*)

9>I LOVE MY MOM too much,even when shes mad I still LOVE her,I can never HATE her, i just CAN'T.

10>I always wanted to visit the poor homes around the country and help the kids out,and write&share their life story to the world,thats the reason why i wanted to do journalism, but lol,i fails..

11>I appreciate Art and creativity of someone hardwork

12>I enjoy baking,always wanted to be a chef just like jamie oliver.

13>Am trying to change to be a Bttr Person in Life

14>I LOVE my friends

15>am thankful of the things that happened to me gd(thanks its awesome,at least am happy) or bad (thanks at least I know and learn from this,its an open eye)

16>I apprecite the tiniest good thing people done to me

17>I always wanted to do Bungee Jumping

18>I enjoy EXTREME sports

19>I like doing the things am scared of eg,height,cause I believe in overcoming it,at least I've tried it,and its a relief,it makes me Stronger after doing so.

20>I love trying NEW things in LIFE,i always learn something.

21>I LOVE NATURE,POETRY.

22>am a THINKER,i reflects alot,expecially when am Alone,yes I LOVE to walk Alone sometimes..

23>I am straight forward person to strangers

24>i suffer from STM(Short Term Memory)

25>I am a Perfectionist,one thing not in order I go all MESS up and BLEHHHH...totally out of place..

2009-10-13T03:45:00.000-07:00

Well its the second day at school ,now as we already got time table ,yea am glad ,so I can well plan my days,oh yea and we had like snw and soon we're gonna have our physical test,am not gonna say no I dont want to do it,Yes I wanna do it and aim for the best this time,and for this term am really gonna buck up,yea and today received our books,so I when to look inside.well its not much different from all the previous subjects,only this time round we're learning one of the few concept we learnt in previous,only focus on one and more detail in one subject.thats much better, and all of my classes is gonna be in the lab,thats = don't forget sweater or jacket to prevent from freezing,and its been like raining always but not the rain never stop,the calm rain season, yea i like this rain better, no thunder or lightning,only the sounds of rain falling and the smell of after rain is such a wonder.so I when to update my pink bible diary.one of my friend said it should be post,hahas its like a creative art thingy,i've always love being creative,ever since am small,i still remembered,when i was 5 i when for art class,and as I grow up i when to join art&craft club,and eventually have to be their leader,vice-chairman.I always enjoy art, its something which always in me, and fashion is one of the art. I wish one day someone would to worthship any of my creative work. :) and i was talking to a friend about the special type of people,so i have a thing in seeing them and helping them out, sometimes even when I never help I will make sure I see them and they're at a save spot. They are the same as us,only special in different way, so today as I was in the train going back home from sch, I offer my sit to an old man, so after that as I look up at my reflection I think hey am going back home from sch in train, and sometimes people complain its pack so troublesome ok even me do that alot of times,but this time round I think am here in Singapore at least am lucky enough that am going bck from sch and things are fine, what about the kids in iran or afganistan?how do they go bck from sch?seeing each of the people on the street being shot to death, maybe even someone they know. imagine you're riding on a public bus then you look out you saw someone being gunshot and when you look its someone from your family.gosh I pray something like that won't happened to any of the people I know.

recently I've heard or speak about the prediction of the 2012.world end.ok,its been even before it been told, i have a feeling that the world is ending soon,yea its nearing but i can't assure if it's 2012,it's scary and an eye-opener to me.why is the world ending?cause the people in the world are basically destroying it and even humans are being destroyed.why do we always have natural disaster nowadays? answer this? compare to when last time, its like a very rare thing to hear, but now things like earthquake,tsunami are already something command,it happens daily.why is the mother earth so angry? yes the world is coming to an end people.but idk when?cause am not god. the sights are so obvious can't you see people? what I can say is pray hard and save earth, be at peace,love the earth, love the ones who you are with,your family, and the people around you, if only the world is like heaven,no sins made no bad or crimes or war..I bet the world would be living forever.so think before its late, and I think alot of this, but idk why, am so worried, that I wanna help myself in being a better person then I was before. yea so love the earth people :)

So watch this in tribute of MJ & the earth.

LOVE THE EARTH

2009-10-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

So again i didnt get the hairstylish job, well i didn't want it badly tho,
cause I had some place else in mind and yea its tenthousandangels,its a very relaxing
environment to work at, and so i had the interview and gosh seriously I need the sch time table cause I need to tell them about sch times so I can work when am not schooling,and yea tomorrow sch starts.booo!i always love holidays cause i can spent time outside more, yea and the best is I can spent time with mom.I got a pict took in the shop before.yea the atmosphere is very relaxing and they play french songs , haha, so my style. and the person was like hey you look hippie.hahas.and I got plans ahead :P
that would bring awesomeness to people :) and am waiting for halloween to arrive ..weee

They sell angels statues

they serve food like a tea party

2009-10-09T23:33:00.000-07:00

My Heart Speaks Out

As i grow up I learnt alot of things.Bitter or Sweet its still something i've learnt,and I can say am glad am a different person now.Am thankful to God of this change in me.And altho sometimes I wonder and Qns myself,I can never know even one phrase to answer my own question.Its like i dont know myself.Am not implying I know myself 100%now but at least as I discover&read more psychological books&experience the outside world now I know.Yes I learn the hard ways, but its good,cause noone will open eye w/out learning the hard ways.Trust me.It's never enough to just tell&force.It only help in the slightest way of them being caution.But it never really help in big ways,This is how human minds are,minds have own control.Itcontrol our body&us.And as am a thinker.I dont really let things I feel with telling.I prefer to keep it to myself or write it down. But I know I can't write everything,the reasons are,I got not much time&theres too much to write,and I knew there would be someone who would read it.*this implies on me writing very personal things on my real writing diary*.Sometimes I feel its wrong to peep on someone diary.What would that person feel if someone would to do the same if she/he owns a Diary&someone else would peep on hers/him?Do you think of this?Yes I know what would everyone think,oh i hate him/her,she/he always take my thing w/out my permission.But what you dont know is that hating&taking things else then your diary is something different.Diary is one hearts let out/confessions& the reason to why its written cause the person cant really tell or its just things memories which she want herself to know/remember herself&not let others see or hear.Its the reason why its confidential.And the things she/he took w/out your permission is nvr the same as things in someone mind or heart.No you cant compare it.Nvr.What I've learnt is that in this world,nvr easily trust ppl.No not even if they look like Orlando Bloom or BradPitt.And once you go in wrong lane the ppl always think you're same,even if you told them you've change.They'll laugh at you.But seriouslywhats more important is yourself,you know you've change.And No you dont need anyone trust.What matters is you know&God knows you've change.And everyone does sins and for me you pray hard god will listen to you. And I know my prayers to god is opening slowly waiting it to be open wider.and am Thankful to god for listening to my prayers.Even tho I know am not that very very holy person who goes and pray 24/7 I still know and thanks him always.And everytime I say I hate you to the ppl who are close to me,the truth is all that is a LIE.I can nvr hate any of you.Yes I nvr tell&sometimes am rebellious.But as I walk alone,I think.And theres always guilt in me.sorry is a word which i cant say cause I know saying sorry is never enough,like most ppl they only talk but they nvr meant it.so whats the point ?if only one day my mind or heart can speaks on its own then everyone would know.Why I do this and that?like the phrase "Everything has a reason to everything you do".Its true.And in this world noone is perfect.Even the holiest person on earth has done at least a lil smallest unseen mistakes.what else to the normal,modern,chaotic lifestyles nowsdays?And the reason to me being unattentive is due to my mind always thinking of something.And everytime am alone or before I sleep,I would think or recap the past .And as i've learnt.Now am always thankful in every lil things which happens to me.And I cry at times cause its so touching &am so thankful to god for opening a chance for me and what its called "the doors of fate".And always am thankful,I still have my parents.w/out them i dont know what i would be now?And I love my mom too much that shes my everything.Yes I can be bad &rebellious at times, but I always have the guilt feeling deep down&hate is nvr a thing last long even a day feels like a years.And I do anything for her,even if it would sacrifice my life away.I rather risk myself then others.And everytime she goes to work,well I nvr really tell her but i would say to myself,"god tc of her,and not lets bad things happen to her".And the bestest thing which happen to me lately, is am getting close with mom.like am gaining trust&thats what I always wanted and the wish i wish for since so long.This is why am very very thankful.And I would like to thank my sis&few close friends for being there for me.Yes,it's for everyone.sis thanks for the advices,I always remember even now.And I know its hard to trust someone change.I dont need trust from anyone . whats matters is btw me &god.But am thankful for the advices&help.And now I know why alot of ppl out there always take me for granted.Cause am too nice.No matter how bad I wanna be I cant.So ppl threats me as someone whom to let out all problems.And I can say out of hundreds only 2 comes back when they are fine &living happily,come and say hey thanks bcos of the advices you told me & listening or helping me out to my probs.Yes very lil.Am always thanking the ppl who teaches me&listens to me.and the reasons why I tell ppl bout me is cause I dont know them irl.I dont see them everyday in life.Plus I dont feel comfortable sharing it with mom.altho I always wish she got time for me.Sometimes i hate it when shes always working.Other kids told me thei mom pack them food&stuff.I used to seldom have all these.But now am very very thankful at least my mom kinda close.And when she calls I might say "so troublesome", but at times I like it,it shows she cares for me.And now I can brag to my friends how my mom always call &she did all those sweet things with me.and for the ppl out there who look down on me.But I know am not that bright in IQ.I dont go to JC or POLY.But i believe that one day I can shine like others too,with my own ways.And thats when everyone going to come to me and tap on my back and say gd work am proud of you.and thats when i'll say yes me too, am proud of myself too,am proud that I can show the people whom look down at me that am a shining star Now.So in future dont look down on others.Instead always motivate them,even if they do 1 billion mistakes..Keep saying good stuff to them until they open up their heart and shine.Humans nvr learnt if a person keeps saying em stupid or you cant make it.No try something like " Hey try harder,youve done your best,I believe you can do better,I believe in you!"Even if em fails.Keep saying it.Yes you might laugh,but try this in years time to someone close to you,even if you got a child or your lil cousin or friends,I bet it works.The person would wake up&really buck up&shines, yes in a long years time.nothing works fast in life.And if it works,Thank me if am still alive..

*so peace to earth *

2009-10-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

So Ytd I when out with my girls Syuha and Aida, We when shopping from orchard to bugis and then syisha at haji lane? lol. ok not sure if its hajah or haji lane ? is it a female or male lane? lol,but we had fun, definedly with pictures and all.And I definedly had soo much fun.And while syisha-ing we plays true on true and thats the time we know each other more. hahs my favourite game =). ok then we held home as times flies sooo fast,am so missing the girls already, and soon this monday school gonna start and i hope things will go as smooth as the last days of my hols..And ytd was a Thinking Moment. yea I had that "Memories Lane Flashes" day ytd. and as usual, tears always the company to every lanes, but its OK.i'll write on next entry.

2009-10-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

For today I help mom out to Cook,Yea I love to cook :)
oh yea and all day I when to update on my photobucket so theres more picts available.
And my Enter site is diff now, thats me! no fake! hahas.I did that cause I felt that if I would to use someone else then it be copyright and plus i bet alot of peeps ok at least one person have the same picture on their site.And I wanted something different I wanted to be appreciated due to my own hard work done by me not others.then its better to be proud of own work then others work which you claim yours.

oh Between been talking to a friend ash and he told me bout this book on the year of jaguar theres alot of prediction across the world that the world is coming to the end and the yr of jaguar is 2012 and next yr is 2010 another 2 yrs? ok basically I dont believe whether the world is going to end at 2012 but i have a feeling the world is coming to an end,but idk when,no one knows when,what best is to get prepare, and I hope i get to set my foot to the holy place in mekah before world ends and my wish is to travel around the world.and out of so much i when to bangkok,bali,padang,melaka,terengganu,seremban,kl,johor,and theres like millions of places i havent yet to explore so quick i wanna grow up and do all these!!And with this I just wanna thanks ash for taking hard work and having the trouble to willingly sent the book by post from france, yea idc if you say its ok it doesnt trouble you, i still owe you :).

and that day i did this video due to boredom i sang bubbly-colbie blue so enjoy altho it sucks hahas, this is done to cheer my friends up yea this is to all my friends enjoy, mind the dark &sucky tune and cam..

::ME SINGING BUBBLY::

2009-10-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

I had a great Fun today when out with two of my mates Syuha and Yami
Finally as we plan, we when rollerbladding,Yay. and I had my wish to sit alone near the sea listening to my french music while enjoying the sea breeze.i just love the sea breeze at night,
its lovely really!so i gave up half way cause my legs hurt yes its hurting now still!and since ages,
i had not played rollerblading since like last played was when i was really a lil kid, so its like a
new born baby who just learn to walk, yea i felt like that while playing the roller blades,
altho the skater shop did asked are you fine want someone to help but its ok, i have Yami to guide both me abd Syuha hahas!!,and yea i bought myself glasses short short and food! gosh am starting to eat alot ok i understand why so, when am like eating ALOT.. but its fine.i enjoy the day much!
and i just remembered something syuha "YOU HIDE THE BROWNIE PACK BUT WE DIDNT BUY IT! lol..."ahhaas me and syuha hide a packet of brownie pack(betty coopers) yes our fav!! i just did it during early ramadhan. yes i enjoy baking alot!! syuha wanted to buy since early ramadhan but then its out of stock and now they have!! and we didn't bought it! lets buy it another day ok syuha! lol, am now am waiting for my karaoke nite with my porky girls hahas :P

2009-10-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

bonjour là

for today when out with family
as everyone not working,so we finally had time
visiting uncles &aunts for the raya trip and well not much time
so we did when to the nearest related aunts and uncles houses
and when back soon after that, which dad decided to buy us all dinner
yea! am eating much and enjoying cooking and exploring new stuff such as food
and other stuff.yes now am into french, and liking alizee music is one of the style
oh yea and shes only 25! thats young as am like 19 so not much difference,ok hmmm
i still remember my favourite french movie,Amelie!it's an AWESOME movie,interesting..

again I edited my blog,ok thats me on the main page, with a camera..edited it with few text and color.and i miss my friends alot :( LOVE YOU ALL!!

2009-10-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well today I when to Jalan raya with my classmates, I still remember old times last yr, everyone alone.. now seem like most of them have partners haha yea i pray for you guys to be happy.. i am happy when my friends are happy.To A FRIEND dont worry times will come by when the perfect person would be with you, and whats past is past.and remember this one thing, you still got me, thats more important you got a friend you care for you rather then someone whom you know care for a while only.I know and I experienced the same.so yea.and am glad to have a caring friend like you :). and to another FRIEND, dont worry you lose ur job, whats done is over, don't need to sulk or mad, its fate..and yea theres always other opportunities my friends.what most important is never give up.and for those GPA full or high in my class yea congrats.am proud of you all. and for those drop, try again harder this time coming.it's never too late :). yea thats for me too.."lets bulk up!and i know i wanna make mom proud and i can kiss and hug her like a teddy bear"hehe,after Jalan Raya together, i when to meet a friend, he seem stress due to his past, and my wrds to him is chill whats past is past friend, move on, and the people in the past forget them, you'll sure to know new peoples in life and few stay and alot leave.so yea. its the parcel of life, just take it in.whats best is to move on, and ignore the old past.and yea much thanks to a friend for sending me home :) and have a nice trip for work..

2009-09-30T06:31:00.001-07:00

today finally meet my gf, vee! so we when to watch phobia 2 it was awesome! yes a must to watch!!so after that we had lunch i had chicken and she had beef stew, it was yummy!! aft that when to daiso,and spotlight to check few halloween things , and yea am planning to do a halloween party!and everything(idea) i had in mind..lol.. ok this kinda thing is my thing..lol..aft that when to yamaha and when to view few few instruments there while vee was trying sort of jamaica drum like ..i was chekcing out the guitars, idk why but theres this weird dude checking me out same goes at the ear piece shop.. what wrong with me? am not an artist.. hahas.am just a normal person, maybe ugly hahas.. ok enough of the stares..so after that when to check this awesome shop call touched by an angel yea it was soo nice..they sell angelic arts and in the shop also has a cafe! hahas ain't it's awesome. so yea i just when to take some girls pict they were eating there so i when to ask them if i could so yea they were sporting enough .. thanks girls :) and yea they are cute..uniform,tea party look alike meal..hahas..aweee..and then time to go home! and yea.. in train another stares .. aiyo.. am not a MONSTER!! am normal!! people! SO STOP THE STARES PLS!! i hate when peep stares its like "shes an alien" hahas am not from mars am from earth..!

so when bck and mom told me got earthquake at padang so we were worried for our cousins there..yea so call them up and make sure they all are fine, and yea they are save and sound.. such a relief.and hope they all are fine..thanks for all the trouble in guiding us at padang, i miss you guys alrdy :(.. don't worry i'll be BACK!! hahas.. :P

2009-09-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

heres my story trip at Padang

when there on the 24th flight was at 12.05 and wake up early morning like nearly 8 and mom alrdy goes "QUICK WE'RE GONNA MISS THE FLIGHT!!" so all set to go terminal 3 but end up we were suppose to go budget airport! well it was my first time at budget airport. so yea.. it's small hahas.
and so from terminal 3 we had to took the skytrain then bus, and guess what out of all the trouble and noise with the wrong place, we misplace the printed paper that prove we bought the tix via net.So again mom babling bla bla so careless..so me and dad when to look in all the bus .. yes finally 3rd bus I found the papers it was slip beside the seat. hahas so yea.my bro, mom and granny sat together. as i bought the tix last min. so i had to sit alone i dont mind.. i prefer to go alone.so it was relaxing hahas.reach there like 50 mins ltr and idk some indon guy came and goes hello madam lt me take your bag at my granny.. my granny was like "oh! who r u?someone is gonna take me alrdy it's ok.." not knowing it was him.. cause my lil cousin came with my indon side family to take us and he plan to make us worried..hahas.so yea the trip to the my cousin place was like 8 hrs .. due to the congestion of traffic.and yea.. we all had butt cramp!2nd day we go to see the hills and Sawah Padi.. it was very NICE. took few picts there.then ltr we when to go view some waterfall the next day and when to climb the rocks, cam whoring with everyone and yea had fun..then the next day was my cousin marriage yea she had to wear the traditional marriage costume of the peeps there 'minang kerbau', so from this house, which have a very old lady age nearly 100, it's my cousin husband granny. yea..so from there we took this horse carriage and we ride around the village, its a traditional to show off the new bridemaid there via that way so yea..yea again butt cramp hahas. cause the horse cabin was so small hahas..on the fourth day everyone took a bus and when to 'bukit tinggi' shopping, bluehh mostly go to the aunti kinda places..yea which is to buy silk and clothes -_-, but i only got my self a batik print bag and a t-shirt which guns on it.and we when to the mall the mall is sooo crowded..hell yea..and from what i see, theres this lil boy who was crying cause he got beaten up cause he was caught by the guard due to stealing, yea theres kids who do those things there so we had to be very very careful with our valuables..so all the aunt gangs spend like mad...hahas..and the next day was more awesome!!ok it wasn't that awesome, but i made a new friend, Yogi. lol he's cute compares to the others i saw..hahas.he's our driver to 'Market' so me and my lil cousin didn't want to go to the fish market so we sat in the van and talk with him and make friend..hahas..me and my cousin plan to buy jeans but end up the aunties gangs!!! spend too much time at the wet market -_- so we didnt had time to buy any jeans..but after that we when to play 'rakit' it's like a bamboo tie together to make a boat and you use one stick to ride it..it was awesome and yea our new friend followed.. hahas..:P, so one boat 4 peeps.. me,yogi,my lil cousin;liana,my cousin;sis nadia and her husband..and our driver is yogi which is soo thin hahas.. and half way across the lake it rain hahahas.. and it was soo cold! but it was damn awesome! if we knew we couls have gone to this place earlier.coz we tot we could buy jeans but end up no time!!!*show teeth* -_- okok the next day our trip bck home, awe everyone kiss and wave good bye and tc.. it was memorial and fun..it's fun knowing other country traditional trends.. like I say, I love to learn new things in life..it's fun to see and experience something different from our daily life.yea.. so am planning to go there again!! woohooo yogi wait for me ehk LMAO hahas.he is just a friend liao.hahas..but that nite mom told me theres weird sounds dogs howling and when dogs howls at nite it means they saw ghosts yea its creepy.. cause when me and mom was showering, we heard something, the dogs howling like mad.. it was like 5 plus..scary yea..cause we heard like " shouting of satans" when the mosque nearby recite prayers at that time..scary like hell..hahas. but lucky i sleep like a death person hahas..so i dont hear anything..lol.hahas.so yea.. i had FUN and am soooooooo going there again..*picts are available in my pix gallery *

2009-09-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

ok heres the news that day early ramadhan i when out with my group of girlfriend ,vee and fazila.
so we when to eat at this wafer shop, they sold spagetti, i think if am not wrong i ate cream sauce mushroom spagetti haha.. awesome.. haha.. it was fun and we when back late..when to geylang to walk around and that day me and vee(LOVE her) also when to do henna"FREE!" haha done by her friend. and we plan to go genting and become crazy with the scary rides!! hahas.can't wait!! weee!!hop hop hop.

_{catch our pictures under pictures.}

and end of ramdhan like a few days before Raya when out with my crazypork girls it was awesome too, i always appreciate my gfs outing everytime.. cause they all are my LOVE, really.i do anything for them, my real real close friend even if i would to cancel a date (^^) so we when vivo buy LJS and ate outside while seeing the sea area. hahas. it was awesome. yes i love the sea breeze! and sunset!.haha.we have a great time! it was wonderfully awesome!LOVE both of them.when to the same bookstore,but :( theres no sight of the person am searching.hahas. but well at least i enjoy my day with my gfs :)..and we had a grp hug!am waiting for Karaoke outing.hahas..:P

_{they're hot/crazy picts of us!!}

ok, i realise alot of things happened recently, but hell to it, all I care is that i got CARE from my mom and those others who I really want care from, yea.. thats most important.idc whether i have a bf or not, all i care is I have the LOVE of my life from both parents :) and my gfs and Friends which are real real close are more important so yea.am hapy NOW. wee! i LOVE YOU ALL.GROUP HUGS *sretch arm like the mrs incredibles* lol..

OK heres news for TODAY had to pack lugage to go Indon,Padang.my auntie and cousin have reached only my fam and my grandmama we are leaving tom at 12 so am going there from 24-29 idk what time is the flight back. but i know i got all the plans up ahead hahaha.2nd oct going raya and few days bck goin genting and on the 10 oct goin karaoke..haha.

so yea peeps anything BEEP me aft 29 hahas.i know there i wont be able to contact anyone my cellphone no autoroam.. and am so gonna miss u peeps.LOVE YOU ALL!!miss all!

2009-09-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

oh am addicted to pimping my blog that i got no time to write on it so much to write so lil time, btw i got to credit few people..need to remind myself to do tom.and write my blog often..
i had took few pictures *under picture sections* btw now no more wrk but i did enjoy the few days at work thanks to the guys there."thanks guys :)" *eric* *raihan* *the sri lanka guy* *ind guy* *eddie* *idk who but he wrks at the bar n looks nice * *the girls there* i had a great day wrking with you peeps..and the last day was well fine, i didn't went home straight since i cant fast, i went to smoke & sit alone near the sea via sentosa at vivo.with the full breeze at noon, it was awesome..
was gd time for reflection yea i did.did hard thinking. i tell myself no i cant give up i need to look up n if i fall i need to stand up myself, no noone is gonna help me,you must be STRONG JANNAH!yea and i did for these few days. cause i learnt alot from the mistakes i did..learning from it makes me a stronger person . and thankful.its like a slap on your face to wake you up.. thats the way to really really wake someone up to reality!aft reflecting, wen to this cool looking bookstore, it was my style , i was browsing thru all the cook/recipes books, found few awesome, interesting books .jamie oliver cook bk, i love the way he cooks he is one of my fav chef , other then nigellia feast...love her way too, but her method is less healthy comparable to jamie oliver.it be awesome to be a chef, i always have passion in cooking only i kinda lazy lol..i admit ok lol..n plus i'am more to liking to cook food which is not my side, those typical traditional mly food, i like those fine perfect dining/ baking its more to arts side.. art = me..i always enjoy art .thats my passion, and new things bedazzled me..ok the part wen i was browsing and too into the recipes books until i half notice a cutie noticing me. and its oh-so-french-romantic-love-meet-up lol..girl meets boy at bkstore boy watches girl girl notices girls find him a cutie only things ended w/out nothing aweeee!...if to be destined then shall meet again haha..and best is the bckgrnd melody plays a french tunes.oh its so romantic love story lol..ok for here today am going to sleep like a death doll now too sleepy.. shall continue soon. :)

2009-09-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

bla bla bla
am too busy with work & nothing else
new schedule
work,home,work,home,beach...
nothing else
just like pass
and am happy with it.

being independent is my life,
all i care is my family and my real friends,
i miss my girl friendsss

so life is pretty busy
all i got time is to update twitter via cellphone,
so basically twitter is my second blog

i cried not because am sad
i cried bcoz am touched
remember those times when i say
you nvr sms or call me
and am jealous of other kids
when they told me bout their great moms,dads
yea now am very happy you called me
and always ask bout me
where am i, and you believe me this time
cause i know am not lying
am working my ass off
to be more useful,
independent girl,
which i believe one day,
that you can stop working,
and i can take care&support you instead.
yea I love you MOM
and i appreciate the calls&care..

and when everything crumbles down in life
theres only the close ones
so peeps bttr make a great choice in life
don't choose someone you don't know yet
then those you see them every single day
only you don't communicate alot,
they are everything, even when you are bad,
rude, evil, or ugly,
they still care&love you..

*game to try whether this statement proof it rite*

try calling your boyfriend and say hey i got aids,
do you still loves me?? do you still want to share everything with me?

answer: yes>he is a true gentlemen, hail to this kinda man(hard to find)
no>he's an ass
yes and no, maybe> seriously this one is worst..why can't say straight anwser A BIG NO NO!!
just trying hard to be nice but actually they are the worst type.!fuck you!yea!

and i can say yes your family would be man and would try to avoid you due to the sickness,
but trust me out of will at least one of them, your mom would think of you, what are you eating,why you do this? the meaning is why must my child die at this age?

that day my mom was like asking me hey go take medication you are kinda sick..don't be silly with only a cough other sickness might comes..
my answer oh yea, maybe am dying .. yay yay.. better to die then live.
mom actually said, don't say that you crazy girl!(that shows she care)
and am touched with this lil things..
YES AM SENSITIVE, SO WHAT ..
at least am thankful
and i pray for my family happiness
and my real real true close friends a happy life and smile always
LOVE YOU ALL
HUGS

2009-09-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

Heres the NEW thing
with me & life
am more ~~INDIE~~
tend to go for more vintage
WAIT am still loving my JROCK&KPOP

and I just receive a MORNING GOOD NEWS
from my cousin
she's PREGNANT one mth
well congrats, hope she make it..
am gonna get a niece.hahas
well not that i haven't got niece,
But this one is the first from my Mom's side

today my MOOD was oh so motherly wife
haha, whats with the cooking&baking
and being oh so I LOVE babies,
they're so preciously cute..

theres like ONE thing I am suffering from,
NUMBNESS!
my hands are numb
its like OK usually when you touch yourself,
then one touch you, it's different,its like yea its my hands
for me, like its not my hands..
NUMBNESS of feeling.
OH GOSH

OK am
changing EVERYTHING
LIFE
ATTITUDE
and much more
this 2009 had been a whole big SHIT year
am hoping by end of the yr things goes well for US
yea~too much of a CHANGE for this yr
how many sickness i had
and I wasn't pron in getting sick usually
having a stupid mistake which out me down
always fighting over lil stuff
getting MAD easily
becoming more WILD
~~(all the Negatives)~~

being more self confidence
knowing whats bad and whats right
learnt alot from past experience
who are the correct types of ppl
whom is the bad TYPES.
be a stronger person!
having to overcome my peers and obstacles of LIFE.
guidance from trusted ppl,CLOSE
like family and friends
being a different person
knowing theres ppl out for me
being a more independent person
study and learnt new things
(positive sides of 2009)

~am in a bless mood~
blessing the positive income
of life
and
abandoning the negative thinking
POSITIVE THINKING MAKES A PERSON HAPPY
happy days to my peeps

&

I

JUST

WANNA

SAY

I LOVE YOU

AND

I

KNOW

YOU LOVE ME TOO

(^u^)

2009-09-02T06:24:00.000-07:00

am finding messing with HTML is quite interesting
yea,when you get the FINAL OUTCOME, and it's what you expected or
it turn out COOLER..
like oh really I did this?
AWESOME
didn't knew I could do such A THING

OK since SHIT had happened
i just have to bold it
cause WHAT have past
is just the PAST
what am looking now
is FUTURE
looking FORWARD

all I can say is
AM LAUGHING AT YOU
cause am the ONE
leading the HAPPY LIFE
having the BRIGHTER FUTURE
and YOU GOT NOTHING..
*haha*

BTW thanking my FRIENDS
for the SUPPORT
and cheering my DAYS
or A LISTENER
yea THANKS
LOVE

thanking Syuha for being there always 4 me
thanking Vee for being my company in ALL
thanking Zero for the hypnotizm/meditation~LOL
thanking Sam for singing a song with "GAY lyrics" hahas..
(*lyrics written in 2 mins>FORGIVEN for the GAYISH lyrics*)
thanking Raman for listening to my shitty LIFE
thanking Sis for being AWESOME~teaching,leading me to a better and right things
thanking Mom for Loving me(I LOVE YOU,i know you 2 :P and I know you LOVE my KISSES :P)
thanking Daddy for pampering me with my wants :P (YOU ARE THE GREATEST DADDY :P)
thanking Brother for being sooo Proctective..(*over*) LOL

i BAKE Brownie
and it turn out'
BLUEHH~wasn't as SUPERB AS BEFORE

and I few DAYS TO EXAM
and we had an event to some open house at some army CAMP -_-
isn't it like WASTE time
& its compulsory
better have an EVENT like EXTRA REVISION LESSON
at least that have benefit for the examination
BLUEHH!!~

OK AM GONNA STUDYYYY
AND I MEANT IT!!
ARGHHH

OK HERE FOR FUN
BY 2ONEDAY

2009-08-26T03:06:00.000-07:00

Drained OUT
SICK in &out
Literally & Emotionally
one thing needed
"ENERGY"
whats wrong with my BODY System
it's getting WEAKER
it used to be soo GOOD
am Guessing
THIS YEAR IS A HELL CHANGE FOR ME
ALOT TOO MUCH HAPPENED
2009 is a BAD year
which I would remember
theres still the GOOD PARTS
let's see the glass full
rather then half empty
LEARNT FROM MISTAKES
BE HAPPY

2009-08-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

have you felt sick
when everytime you know ppl
they Just wanna be with you,
for GOD sake, am too sick of this
i wanna VOMIT my Ovalry OUT!!~
i mean how can you say "I LOVE YOU"
when you know shit bout her/him
within an hour, you think you know everything out of the person??
even a DECADE won't take enough time to know the real me..
am not implying to anyone,or anything
it's just IDC no more,BULLSHIT
let me live my own LIFE, as the way I want to,
and you know shit bout me,only talks,
haha seriously i dont care
felt hurt,i am laughing
yes i never cry of why anyone did this,
but more of why am I doing this?
i have no answer to my own question,
cause i belief in only "doing things my way!"
why the need to care? in this NEW world
"care" is only for ANIMALS or "THING"..
"worries" is more to HUMAN
i mean anyone can say "hey i care for you"
"OK!,so..what are you implying in doing now?"
just typing it out and stare at the COM?
hahas~this is typically everyone action daily..
come on how can you say that virtually
for heaven sake~
why not just MAKE OUT virtually
oh having a relationship virtually
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW REAL HE/SHE looks like?
hahas i wonder have ppl come across like
"hey i meet this girl,hot and ytd we chat and she likes me bck, and now we are officially together..yay am in a relationship now!I LOVE HER SO MUCH,no now am not available i've alrdy got a gf..I must be DEVOTEED to her.."
BULLSHIT!!!
and a min ago she pass by you at the train station,and you didn't know she was your gf..haha..
"I TOT YOU HAVE A GF? lol~so what you give her during valentine day?"
"A VIRTUAL CHOCOLATE BOX & FLOWERS"
which she can't even taste or smell or feel
= NOT RECEIVING ANY SHIT
LOL
this is life VIRTUALLY
hahas~i mean no one uses the com 24/7
what you dont pee?shit?or even stop for a DRINK or FOOD?
if your answer yes theres someone who is like that,
INTRODUCE EM to me
i can write moreee of the virtual life
and how STUPID or CLEVER ppl can be
personnally if you would to ASK me what? or why?
my answer would be:[I DON'T CARE,just PLAY along:)]

___________________________________________________________________________________

its the fasting month,oh you should be holy in this mth~
ya rite: like when you say bad word loudly!
"opps oh my sorry"
but when you speak/gossip isn't it a bad thing too?
just whispering so the person won't hear...
whats the use of TALKING when the person can't hear
~WHY NOT SAY DIRECTLY~
ain't it better,easier,straightforward,
theres advantages you see
you save time in spreading it
which takes a much slower time
and effort..
I LOOK UP TO PPL LIKE THIS
who can say it straightforward
in a proper way~
"hey oh my god you should not be wearing that,
it doesn't suit, why not try this??bla bla yada yadaa"
in this phrase theres the + and - points
saying directly and helping out in how to improve
ain't it NEUTRAL so its a GOOD THING
but mainly....,
either its MEAN or GOOD
best is if you're ALONE
and you can say that to the person itself
NOT THOSE WITH FRIENDS~thats just BULLSHIT
they are truely BIGCOCKERLOSER who only sucks SMALLDICKS
blah~duh~with friendssss
but lets see when em ish ALONE
em gone MUTE?what happened?
the DOG caught your MOUTH
such a pity
*i feel their pain* i wanna CRY
LOL
personally if someone would to critise me
NO not fight~thats only for ppl WHO ish afraid that
the commments made was RIGHT
i would SMILE or maybe say "hmmm OK thks"
yes you all can LAUGH..say "HOW STUPID"
but opps you are implying to yourself?
thats like saying someone STUPID but you are STUPIDER
am the ONE LAUGHING MY ASS OUT and IN
cause i need no effort to PROVE you are stupider then me
YOU HAD PROOF IT YOURSELF
thats the reason am thanking you
HAHA

*I'll share more soon~....*

[wow am good I should write a BOOK,:P]

2009-08-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

FOUND
painful Fact a min Ago
oh you're good
presenting a GOLD medal?
maybe The hanger is clapping
even the stains is partying
maybe its karma?
what is Karma,superstitious??
hmm~bullshit?
the silence of noone
"care" has been care
whats the difference?
have it come on my mind?
whats this addiction of songs?
the remembrance.
it's Weird,but weird built the bond
distance apart kills it
why not him?he?them?
like the fact of dc
the least feeling the more feeling
EGO,LONER,INDEPENDENT
implies the differences?
the name suits real
Affectuation?
this is SHIT,
play with own death or life?
afraid of death no!
life is scarier
rather be death~
look up on..?
the lifestyle and characters
realising the treatment
believing the similarities
tears wet the sheet
emotion grows deeper
wider to envy
hate the fact of losing
running away from
all the flowers
which, out of percentage with torns
even no torns
traumatism shakes me
in out sides fully
the end
solution is to be just as same
roses with torns
:)

+this is just random thots of my feelings+

2009-08-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

oh my again~
i wanted to study and never DID
FUCK!!,Kill me!!
~OK all my friends yea I've LINK you guys UP~

HUGS HUGS
YOU GUYS ROCK

ok here it is..
me and syuha was talking bout typical SG-ians
how they THINK
i meant typical mindset
like OH THIS GIRL so open-minded
=(SG-ians mindset)I can ask her out for SEX
ohyes!~ wtf..
comparable to caucasian mindset
= OH WELL OK!~its normal,make friends,SEX,FUN,POSITIVE,
she is a nice girl,respect her,shes fun,hot,maybe can date out,buy her food,sent her home,hope she let me in,if no then its OK..
hmm something WHICH SG-ians GUYS dont have in their mindset
RARE I CAN SAY
....will continues...

2009-08-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

it's fasting MONTH
during school,had ERP presentation
and after that I had WORK
good presentation ~
haha such a good thing to venture in
as am recently very health concious
~YES~
with body weight,
facial (spend alot on masks) xP
and making sure my body is healthy
not just body
inclusive of my MIND
thats the reason of aroma therapy sprayer in my room
and reading ,keen in meditation
JUST ONE THING I NEED TO DO
less on net and SLEEP EARLY!!
am so getting eye bag!!~
no OK I must do important stuff !!
it comes FIRST!!~

My Page Pet

2009-08-20T10:43:00.001-07:00

2009-08-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

oh my~
am craving for
bad things
~gosh~
and i got a photoshoot tomorrow
am so not in the MOOD
for any photo TAKING~
*pout*

2009-08-16T07:55:00.000-07:00

HELLO am fine after Meditating~
listening to relax symphony
am doing all this to release MY STRESS
now am more RELAX~
I LOVE the relaxing feeling~

I hope every of my friends can do this~
AND YES I GOT TO THANKS SOMEONE~
lol idk his NAME~ but if ever he read this
i just wanna say THANKS
for the full meditation
and telling me this way
YES it works :)
and I so need it~
THANKS SO MUCH
altho i still don't know the secret Master~
but it's OK
AND BEST WISHES TO YOU AND LIFE :)

and TO ALL my FRIENDS
I LOVE YOU ALL
if you feeling DOWN tell me
and I'll be glad to be a LISTENER&ADVISER

2009-08-16T03:57:00.000-07:00

WHY am I'm Always PLAYED?
MAYBE cause thats why AM in FOR the GAME
ONE game starts of EVERY game
I can TELL you guys EVERYTHING~

but ONE thing which is really TRUE
I have my PERSONAL reason
which NOONE knows~really
hmmm~maybe some
but i don't THINK it can be HELP

CAUSE now i am a PERSON
who is TWO
weird?
next am a DEVIL
next am an ANGEL
even AM CONFUSE

OK am SICK of everything
I NEED A JOB
LEAVE me ALONE
I wanna be SINGLE
and ALONE
i hate having relationship
cause NOONE CAN understands ME
(maybe it's not the time yet)
NOW let's concentrate on MY HEALTH
ME,MYSELF,MY IDOL,STUDIES
and Being a Bttr Someone!
SMILE,CHEESEEEE

all I want NOW is being ALONE
thats the BEST for NOW
doing my meditation with relaxing Songs
and INDIE with COOL~
a more COOL &RELAX
~BE POSITIVE~
(^U^)

2009-08-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

Yay Today WAD test..
and my TEACHER was like it's OK it's just a COMMON test!!~
blueh! why never say earlier
hahas i was stressing out in me being to relax~
haha thx to a friend,HEY it works..even when i hear bad comments
from anyone i just see them and SMILE,
and am starting to listen to INDIE and more RELAXING MELODY
hahas like those motivation symphony~
classic symphony LMAO,it's good for the brain
and yea i just wanna say sorry if you guys confess & i nvr bother at all
it's just am too sick for ANYMORE LOVE RELATIONSHIP
no more pls~enough,i love being single and alone
ask me why,? idk myself, no anwser..
coz its hard for a person like me to like someone,
and it's ok i still have too much barriers & problems
which i don't want to pass to anyone or my love ONES
prefer it to be carried by me alone, as it implies the strongness of myself
my soul :) thats make me stronger everytime think bout IT~
SO FRIENDS are BTTR :P
I LOVE MY FRIENDS alooottt

2PM BOAST MY ENERGY ..(^u^)

2009-08-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

GOSH FRIDAY EXAM
and I got so many things in my MIND
and LIL time,and am always falling SICK
I NEED TO BUCK UP!!
HELP ME SOME ANGELIC!!
hop hop hop
OR JUST KILL ME!!
can i quit school?
LOL HAHA am just kidding
or can I JUST SLEEEEEEEPPPPP for the rest of my life?
:(
HELP ME!!~~I NEED ENERGY

2009-08-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

Hey HEY memory SCRIPT
it's been a while since i put effort here
yes on this LONESOME page of mine
and am UPDATING IT now~
HERE,alot happened
is happening
gonna happened
it will take forever to explain
ALL
i can say LETS
FORGET & FORGIVE
start ANEW
and NOW am into INDIE
it gives me CALM mind
:)
but there's days am still
ROCKISH and CRAZY
so here is the
POSITIVE,INDEPEDENT me
hello EARTH
I come in PEACE
*bloop~bloop*

2009-07-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

people come people go
people being kind, with motives
YES,theres people like this
and in life theres ups and down
just look at the bright sides
and think positive of life
you're not alone suffering
theres others who is facing the same
or maybe worst
so why are you sulking badly
see the bright side
you got true friend when you are in pain
you're not alone
and am not gonna hate you
for being mean
or living me alone
all i care is you still have the urge to say hi
is enough coz am not a person
who hates those who did mistake
mistakes is normal for humans
and don't show you're weak
if you can't face what you have done
i think you are too coward
if someone would to run away
all you got to do is think deeply
and learnt from your experience
not every lil thing have to end up
with running away and i can say
it won't help a single bit in erasing your mistake
just that it's not wise of you
in thinking that with that
everything could be forget
i can assure NO
no one can lie to ownself
it's just to think straight
and be the new you
and you can still be the having
contacts with your past.
only your mindset changes
thats makes you stronger in life
now is the time for relax and peace
new urban indie is the new style
and being single and smiling
is the new me only one stays deep me
being independent cause that
makes me stronger in life
and not to depend on others
and i look up on your independent life
and one more thing,me being a thinker
i still think of everything
just am making me busy and yes it works
being happy with my normal
relaxing slow pace life

~ PEACE URBAN INDIE LIFE ~

2009-07-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

fine from bad~worst~HELL!!
i don't understand my life...
why can't happiness stay?
is it cause am a bad person?
i know i am..i admit it I'M A BAD PERSON!!
so yea~but doesn't a bad person also deserve happy life?

look at the stars.moon.sky.
i wish i can be the star?moon?sky?
easier life.and no life.and no need to think much.
so yea.cut me with a blade.let the blood flow.
idc no more.no one care.what is care?

no worries.madness is nvr showed.
am thankful i got such an awesome daddy!!
i love you dad for being the best dad,!
am thankful!!! nice and understanding,
and gives everything i want~
thanks dad...

am praying tom comes fast so i can quickly leave
for my vacation,and ease my mind...
seriously i really really need to rest my mind,
altho i know when i get bck things not going to be well..
but all i know is am gonna have fun there.
and hope someone can show me love and care there even if it was only for a while?
am not hoping much,but i just wish i have that in my life..

how cool and calm and trying my best not to care~
i still care..yes i treasure you still thanks chris for showing me love and care
and making me special,even if it was only a moment~you are appreciated and am thankful at least..hope you the best and am here as a friend if you got problem..even if you dont want to~~

if i can shout this moment YES i want to shout!!
i hate my life!!!!

idc no more now!!cause no one cares. seriously
i wish i die this moment..oh i wish i never love anyone,
i used to hate guys alot due to my past..~don't ask why..
don't want to tell!!and still hating now!!,but i stop at a moment,
when someone said i won't treat you like the others..yes not easy for me to trust,
no matter how i still never trust, but as times pass my trust is increasing,
and i can tell this theres hundreds of guys of there that wish they can be trusted,
why i can't?but why do i trust one guy?yes you!!~hmm~
guys are all the same..only think of themself!,and all dirty minded!!
no you just want the body not the heart!!
oh and they're good with sweet and nice talk!
which will melt any girls heart~
but well who cares, this is part of life!
and i learnt something in life~so yea...
humans are not perfect,they are weak..i know
so forgiven..and cool~
cause IDC no more,i have a black heart!
yes am still playing my own game.
*Grin*
and i just wish idk,one day i die,
and thats that..IDC much..
FUCK YOU PEOPLE!!
leave me alone!if you do i would too!
and i would never do bad things to you,
and any others.......
so yea..just live me alone..

i need alone time
YAY 12 MORE HRS TO WAKE UP AND KL VACATION!

2009-06-28T03:23:00.000-07:00

omg!!
~am shaking!!~
i did something which i always wanted,
which am scared off,
and seriously i got no guts,
YES AM WEAK!!;and for this yes..
and i finally out of yearsssssssssssss,
i finally go against my guts,
today and am still shaking like hell!!

the outcome was seriously scary!!
have i not ever been this shaky!!!!in life!!
idk what would my parents think of the msg??
hmm~i hope they can really really think,
it's ok take time, am fine...human is still human...

humans are slow..and they tend to thing after their mistake..
oh we ain't god...even monks or priest or nun or imam or prophet,
are never out of doing mistakes..this is human..
god created us like this..
but it's better to realise mistake
rather then NEVER!

All i want to say is no one is perfect!

*am thinking of becoming a councellor,in councilling people,when i grow up*

OH THE OUTCOME WAS AS I EXPECTED,
MISUNDERSTANDING
A SCOLDING,&ALL I WROTE IS NO USE
CAUSE ALL CAME IS NEGATIVE TOTS
HMMM~ok ok its ok

i keep this is mind
if my own family can't understand me
how can others?
right?
you live your whole life with them
and they can't understand you
how can others who just knew you?
so why the need to understand me?
oh no need
its OK really
i no need anyone to understand me
cause idgad bout anyone anymore
idc even if you care
my heart has no care nomore
all black!
hatred,mean,anger,alone
don't talk to me now!
I hate everyone
~YES EVEN YOU WHO IS READING THIS!!!~
why care to read?
no i dont need sympathy
i dont need any care
just fuck off
leave me alone
go lead a happy peace life ok
and no need your care or love
i hate you!

__________________________________________________________________

hearts beating fast.it is red fresh.deliciously nice.
tears keeps falling.and now it has dry out.too much.
eyes are too weak to even open.my thought is screaming.
screaming to stop.so does my heart.cause all the freshness.
its turning all dark black.were one dont have any feeling.
were one dont care if people care.dont give a damn.
no not even the tiniest bit.not even care for ownself.
yes its like a piece of nut kept in a black box.
flood in the sea. all lonely in the dark.black.hard.
go with flow. where the currents take it.all else is darkness.
even if current goes ashore the nut is still in the dark.
black box.no use.dark.black.hard.alone.careless.
blood flowing but no care.let it flow.all.slowly.
dead is near.care?no.its the best dead.alone in darkness.
now everythings is darkness and black.
not just pysically but mentally and deeply.
knife?=cut=blood=dead=peace....
now tell me you love me i tell you this....

YOUFUCKINGGOFUCKYOURSELFYOUSOUGLYIHATEYOUFUCKINGGUYS..
ASKMESEXANDISAYOMGNOWONDERYOUSODESPERATEYOUTOOUGLYFORGIRLS..
ANDTELLMEOHYOUSOPRETTYCANIKNOWYOUIWOULDSAYTHISOHTHANKSBUTYOU
AREFUCKINGUGLYANDNOIDONTWANTTOKNOWAFUCKINGPERVERTGUYLIKEYOU
GOFUCKYOURSELFBUYYOURSELFAPUSSYTOYANDPLAYWITHITOHTHEYSELLITON
E-BAYYOUCANGOCHECKITOUT..YOUAREUGLYANDFATANDDESPERATE..OHREALLY
AMIABITCHOHYOUMAKENODIFFERENTIFYOUSAYIAMSOFUCKOFFBITCHBACKSOWHAT
IFAMABITCHYOUARETOOLOLLIKEICAREMUCHIFYOUEVENKILLORSAYMEABITCHALL
IWOULDSAYISOHREALLYTHANKSOKATLEASTIKNOWSOMEONEKNOWAMABITCHOK
ANDWALKSAWAY..MADDATMEOHREALLYAMGLADYOUAREMADATMETHANKSTHAT
WOULDMEANMYEFFORTISNOTATWASTEYAYHUGSKISSES..OHYOUWANTTOKILLME
PLEASEDOIHAVEBEENWAITINGALLMYLIFEFORTHISMOMENTPLEASEDOANDIWOULD
GLADLYAPPRECIATEITOHAMVERYTOUCHEDYOUWANTTOHELPMEOHMYAMCRYING
NOWREALLYREALLYILOVEYOUTOOMUCHFORDOINGAFAVORWHATCANIHELPINRETURN
HAUNTSYOUAMOKWITHTHATREALLYBUTSERIOUSLYAMVERYVERYTHANKFULTOYOU
FORVOLUNTEERINGTOKILLMEOKILLSTOPCALLINGYOUABITCHORADESPERADOIFYOU
DOTHATIWOULDBENICETOYOUTHENPLEASEDOKILLMEANDILOVEYOUTODEATH:)

2009-06-27T23:49:00.000-07:00

why does everyone sees the bad side of me only?
and what all the good deeds I've done for them??
all wasted...i told you no one in this world is appreciative!! and thankful!!

like seriously i care for everyone i know!~
and i can tell you this...
ok am not good in telling,
but am good in showing..
cause i seriously have no guts in telling.....

no one knows that everynight,
before i sleep i think of my past,
bad past?good past?everything,
and i can tell you thanks if you had been in my life before,
am thankful for the memories,idc if it's bad or good..
it still a past...and seriously everyone is speaking bullshit of moving on!~
yes you can move on.. but the memory is still can't be erase..
unless you hit your brain on a stone hard..or u're a person who is like the guy in "butterfly effect"
even he still remembers after he read all the diaries..

all i can say is am very very THANKFUL!!~and i still thinks of you..

oh what i want now!!hug chris..cause he always makes me cry!cause he too sweet and caring and always making me special!~and i can tell you not all the guys out there is nice like him..idk ..........
most guys only care for the body,seriously...i know that!!i know guys have a hell of high uncontrolness on these issues... but seriously..no girl, idk others....like being made a TOY!

expecially me an emotional girl....idc if you hate me,its better!!then being nice and quietly care and all but with motive..i hate people like this.. it's more painful then receiving a hate from a person who hates you and say it on ur face!!!
but nvrmind!!.. IDC really.. even if i care, no one really cares..so it's better not to say or pretend i don't care..cause it's better cause it makes me not think of it.. makes myself busy..makes my mind busy..work work work..

thats why i need work to put my mind at ease.. so it won't think to much else then WORK.
idc if it get sicks...my body all i want is my mind to be busy!!too busy to think of all the past..and think of how am i going to work ltr?oh must do this.. yes.. do that.. work this work that..oh ok a break 5 mins.. ok passss 5 mins back to work..quick sch!! start!! i miss sch life now!!~:(

2009-06-25T01:17:00.000-07:00

hey life had been a lil improving~
but am still thinking why am i still feeling solemly sad?
whats missing now?am confuse now..

love?i have..too much ..
friends yup..only now and secretly missing everyone..
the truth here.....................
once you've been with me,have any connection with me..
idc if you don't think or care bout me...
i still do think of you..yes the past..or now..is still the same..
i still remember every person whom i go thru in life with me..
well it would be a lie if i said i think everytime,everyday,everyhours..
but i still thinks at times..usually when am alone.......am much a thinker..
it'll takes the whole day if i would to list everyone....but hey people i miss and think of you still.

and everyday i wake up it be a new day,
life had been bitchy,but still theres times when am serious..
fun is fun,serious is serious...and i can still be very serious and thats when i would,
wake up and do everything straight!!like NOW! and don't expect me to be talking crap rite now.

i miss my girls!!very much!!
syuha,aida,yami,vee,rina,khad,liza,ais
LOVE YOU & NEVER DIESSSS..
(i know i dont say this f-2-f..you might think am too mushy or turning lesbian haha..but i mean it.love you guys very much!!)

i know am a very emotional person,HUSH,thats just who i am really..
am sensitive yes! so what..soyabean,mr bean..hahahas *LAME*(-_-)

And get this straight once you are in my friend friend list,
i will always love and be there and think of you...don't care..
if you don't towards me. i still be a caring,lovable,nice friend to you all...
and secretly i care for all of you!so don't think that no one care!
i admit theres times when am being an ass, everyone has their ass day..LOL
we all are humans..same same...forgive and forget....we all are not god..we ain't perfect..
today you did a mistake,tom you feel bad,the next day you did the same...continuessssssss
and never say oh am not like that..then i would say BULLSHIT!!,all life is same..
have it ups and down..so hey everyone is the same rite?

and asking for forgiveness from everyone who i did wrong,and thankness to those who have been awesome and make my life wonderful..and
i love you all!!

oh to Christopher--->thanks for making my life awesome and making me special,love you!!but forgive me i got to share my love with the others too... but you will be on top list!!:)and i thanks you alot for being very sweet and nice to me..very very thankful ALOT!and knowing the real real me, and helping and caring for me,sharing all my sorrows and happiness and making me special......
and showing me true LOVE.and accepting all the shitness of me..i can say this to you,am not that nice but am thankful to met you!!you are such a sweetie and nice boyfriend and understanding,and all i can promise you is that i would never forget every lil things you did for me,being caring and all the hugs...never, not even if we are apart from each other...and like we said,let see how things work..no rushing, go with the flow..and let the stream led us in life...we can't do nothing,else then wait and see :)....[miss you,kisses,love you <3 hugs]

and YES am just going with the flow of life......what awaits me no one knows.....all i know is i love everyone even if i said i hate them...i don't really meant it..sometimes...it just stupid moody emotion on that time...so yea ....you all soo much appreciated..(^U^)

LOVE MY FAMILY,FRIENDS,NATURE,GOD,EVERYTHING...
:(i want a cat.....

2009-06-22T05:42:00.000-07:00

Wee~

New Update..

Just got back from KL..

of my cousin Wedding..it was OK..

but I eat to much!! until stomach ache...

and my life is Happy currently~

happy and am in LOVE..

BUT STILL SAD LAPTOP CONFISCATED... :(

and I need Work..

2009-06-17T04:28:00.000-07:00

Wow
What am I?
Tell me Guys??
Seriously am telling You How things have Change for me..
Drastic Change~ don't ask me WHY?or WHAT?

But am Thankful..
IDC what others want to think of me!
FUCK YOU BACK!!

And Please Don't ask me if I want to be Yours or SHIT!!~
PLEASE KNOW THE REAL ME!!, then i'll give you a chance!!~
and AM NOT A FUCKING BITCH!~

oh Please don't misunderstand me,when am being too caring and nice,
am always like that,coz i think all people need to be respected,
but wheres mine?? and oh well!!~don't rush in falling for me
or asking me to be yours!! know me...the real me!!

"i dont fall for any guys easily,and i don't care if you own the fucking white house,
a car,bike,plane or helicopter, all i need is true love!! and it takes me dayssssss or weeks
or even months or years to fall for a guy.. and once i like a guy, idc bout others...and idc how
fucking good you look, unless you look like -->list below(haha)LOL...."

Ruki
Tsukasa
Hiroto
Hikaru
Tora
Hyde
Gackt
Yamamoto Yusuke
Seto Koji
Miyavi
Uruha
Kyo
Kai
hahahas(lists continuess......all my idolsssss)

:P

shall be continued....

am done with epi 6&7 of atashinchi no danshi!!!

AND AM THINKING MUCH NOW!!~
i want to stop all the shitssssss...IDK..~
argh!...ok..idk..feeling shitty now..

2009-06-11T20:07:00.000-07:00

Hey~ it's been a while!!
and Alot Happened and is happening~

and Seriously I feel like Bursting OUT!!~
sometimes!!
~.Yes Shit Happens.~

And Like Seriously I want to get things UP straight to all People;
FOR GOD SAKE FUCK OFF IF YOU THINK AM A BITCH!!~
am NOT!!!!,SO FUCK OFF!!~OR FUCK YOURSELF!~

Is it Wrong to be Nice and Caring towards Friends or random person?
and is it Wrong to be ME?is it Wrong for me to have a HAPPY LIFE?

But I thanks the people for hating or loving me~
much appreciation,no matter how the experience is,
it is still what I encountered in my Life~
and I know Life is never Perfect,Never for me~
And No one is Perfect,neither am I~
So yea,you are still a PART of my life,past or present or upcoming~

~So yea be Happy and see ahead!~

BE POSITIVE
Ganbatte mas!

Oh yea out of all the Shit Happens,
I pass my Exam,WAD.
really i tot i was gonna Fail~
Hahas,but shockingly I pass!!
Congrats to myself~

From my Experimental,done and think!~
Now I know who is Nice,who is Not,who is Just Having Fun,and who is my real friends..
How Guys React when you say YES or NO to them.
What they really want out of a girl,seriously~
looks is deceiving~yes!! promise is bullshit!!~
and lots more...etc..~

Yea am NOT gonna CRY or be MAD,
no more!!~ am just going with the FLOW~

oh yea~i miss my friends~
LOVE you guys~
mention here:
work friends,[syuha,aida,syafiq,fandi,huihui,linda,zhongwei,lin,naser,irfan,chewsue,nadiah,
ain,cheng,xing,wenhao,edmond,eric]

(was the best moment working with you guys!!)
arich gabriel,Cheisyanya!,khad!

(i miss out multi convos together!!~alot!!!*CRIES!!where you go missing ppl!!*best moment of my entire life/moment)
Akira,

(glad i know you!!conclude,out of 100% of the ppl i know in tagged you are the most nicest,
and NICE NICE to me~i wish I can go Japan and meet you...)
rina!!(bff),

(miss our moments together always!!!)
syuha&yami!!

(miss allllllllllllll the moments!!!!!!~~)
vee!,(miss our fun moments!)

Khadijah!,Faiszah!,Aisyah Begum!,Rina!~

(oh yea girls i miss girl night out during our sch days)

classmates in schools

~(miss every memories we have together,bad or fun)
Basically my real real friends..
and those who is really am real really Nice and Care for me(^O^)
LOVE YOU GUYS!!

2009-06-07T06:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Nurul,
Here is your single's love horoscope
for Sunday, June 7:

Today, organize something -- a boating trip, a bird watching expedition, whatever. You'll have a great time, and if you're lucky and not too hung up on it, you could fall in love.

thats what my horoscope said for today!
hmmmm~ really?? i don't feel any LOVE currently...

just that i;m losing HOPES on guys~
really really...
maybe I should be a GUY? be a LESBIAN?
LOL!~ hahas............

IDK,sometimes it's SAD..
that things are not like I wanted~
and because of past encounter~
am scared to TRUST or LOVE anyone anymore~~

am in HYDE mood!~
Season Call!

Oh well Tom Exam Btw~
I know how to do Most ~
But still I'm lacking of Confidence..
IDK why?it's like i'm guessing that i would go BLANK COMPLETELY..
during the test..oh please NOT!~ pray hard!!~~

oh Thks Syuha&Vincent&Aizan&the rest if i forgot to mention;
for encouraging me for the study,
so much appreciation to you people!!!...

SO NEED TO RELEASE MY FUCKING STRESS NOW!!~
and get over and done with the Fucking Exam~
YES YES!!~

2009-06-04T22:33:00.000-07:00

Hmm~

I Learnt something NEW in life~
Never to TRUST people in LIFE!~
Not even if they're CLOSE or NICE~

and yea People out There are MEAN!~
THE NICEST they are the MEANER they are actually,
rather know a BAD PERSON who shows their hatred~
from the start!~with that someone wouldn't bother to even
CARE!~

oh yea~and people come and go~
they come only when they need something..
and when they have something new in life,
they forget completely about the old thing~
hmmm~ even if the old thing use to be the place they hang on to~
when sad,happy,tired,sick etc....

maybe I should be MEAN&BITCHY and not care,
care for oneself only?? being selfish is the term~
hmmmmmmmm~~

Alot happened recently~
memories..bad and good~

exam on monday and got to go help out for my cousin WEDDING
later at night~hmmmmmmm~oh my!!~

btw Akira-kun will not be on9 ever again!!
and his close bro got shoot by someone~
and moving...oh my FUCK am soo worried and SAD for him!!~
ARGH!!! shit la!~he's a nice guy..not like some guys !!!
i wish i knew him in person~i want to migrate to JAPAN!!
am not saying that all guys are bad.. theres few i knew which is NICE too~
so yea~:) no offence guys~~

and our last convo was~~
king_majime2009: ok just always remember thres a person you meet in the tagged and that person really loveyou
king_majime2009: its me baby
king_majime2009: bye bye

awe!~ such a sweet and nice boy!!~
TC!~hope he's fine!!~
please..

and NOW thanks to MingXuan,
I'm fine,thanks for trying to cheer me up,
and hearing my problem!! ..
(^U^)

am glad I knew theres some people
who care & love for me~
THANKS guys!~
*hugs hugs*

2009-06-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

Konnichiwa!~

Been a while since I post,
OK here's the new thing..
Bad things is UP, at the same time GOOD things
am still GLAD,and I DON'T CARE,
was past is pass,
now it's new!!~

recently,alot of people are calling/adding me up!~
haha~ NO I'AM NOT GETTING POPULAR!
boo ~ i'm never gonna be pop, don't suit me..

But hey i deserve a NICE guy!

Akira-kun!~
私が好き ,
しかし、私たちの間の距離が嫌い！〜
と私は本当に私はあなたと一緒にいいなあ！ ,
知っているとi dont ,どうやって？あなた本当にを感じる ,
しかしわたし希望それは真実の愛 ...

私は十分心痛の、そう私は、ハッピーとノーマルの中に見えるかもしれませんが本当に、本当に.. whats表示されませんなぜ必要か？過去のものを超えている！〜と私はあまり考えていないのがベストだと思う、それだけが原因だった..私はこの粗悪FUCKINGもう十分だと私を病気にするに行く！ definedly泣くとしたり、感謝されていない人々の病気になるつもりはない！〜だから、みんなのCANファックオフ！！本当！！〜幸せにするために私は自分の人生の中で男は必要ありません！、 I'am私は、シングルとして幸せです...まだ10代の人がラブ＆ケアのためのあこがれ..私と考えているが、 1日予定私に誰かいる！〜と彼は私に私のこと好きだ！ではなく、私のおっぱいや体!!...しないと、私に見えるときは、友達と感情サッド....で私が必要としているその際に必要ですか？私は、私を感じるような中古なんて大嫌い！午前には、 [ OK ]をFUCKINGビッチ！！ともっといい人に値する！

(you can translate it here!this site if you want to know!!)

http://www.collinslanguage.com/extras/Translation.aspx

BTW AM NOT A BITCH TO RELY ON!~
love me for me!~
aishiteru ~

2009-05-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

FUCK.
am soo sick NOW..~
I guess not enough of sleep?
Btw alot Happened..
Hmm,nevermind..~
This is part of Life, and Growing Up..

Let's just remind myself to be more Hard Working..
YES Study!!& follow daily Planner!!
~oh my..
am too sick and sleepy sometimes to study..
I guess, I gotta stop playing the net too much ..
HMM, have to.. for my own health and Life..~

Pfft!! am having all aches..
but nevermind.. need to find JOB ,
YES and live life happily..
(^0^)

はい！私はそれを行うことができます！！

OK ja~ne!
さようなら

2009-05-26T02:52:00.000-07:00

Oh my...
Just as Things getting Better,
My mind and mood just have to spoilt it!~
really Hate this Situation~

Btw am lost and Confused..
idk whats wrong with me...
I just felt that I've gone to far?
and let's not expect so much...

sometimes I felt Lucky~,
but sometimes IDK whats wrong with me..?
I myself dont know..

i'amない女 ,
と私を傷つけるdontしてください。!!~
私を傷つけることにdont..どうか気を悪くするようにするものではなく、あなたのため秋...私はあなたにいい人はわかっているが、してくださいもいいことはありませんが僕たちの仲はうまくいかないことを知っている、私はあなたのため、秋かもしれない..が、あなたも私にニースを見せていた...あなたの愛なんて、本当に良かったと甘さが、それも愛..ですか？しかし、私はあなたの横にある素敵で快適な作り、あなたの胸に敷設して心臓の鼓動を感じた..聴覚と寄り添うように並んでまではいい感じで、私の額にキスをし、私の最初の私の耳にささやく.. thats時間の男が私に...真剣に甘いですので、何かを行っていたといい〜が、今私は大きな間違いだった..がすべて間違って感じ、私たちのことを行ってはならない...今私のように感じる原因は午前もしあなたが、私は大丈夫だと思う〜あなたを助け、友人..しかし、私を愛していないことを知っているいくつかの交換は、まずあなたの愛からの痛みですか？私苦しむするしないの詳細については、忘れては'再びこのような素敵で甘い男〜 argh ！！このような状況は嫌いだよ！！と恋に落ちるはい私dont簡単、..私はそれをdontが、通常の声は、自分自身を知るdontところで私は、その愛があるか？ IDK ..ので..混乱ですが、私はあなたの抱擁とキスへのあこがれが、ああ私は全く間違って感じる！！〜助けて！！この感覚が嫌い！ affectuationなるほど〜これだけで、長続きしないことを望む〜 ...私は自分.. dontや第三者を傷つけるしたい..ああ自分はなぜ私はいつも私の愛は人生で失敗するか、このサックス！！〜これが理由はなぜ恋に落ちるdont状況を簡単に〜私はいつも誰か.. YESのときに痛いのITを開始するように発生するこのような知っている原因..

うーん... ... 、 [ OK ]を、私はあまりに多くの思考を停止して、正常な生活を開始してもらうと思うとあまり期待.. dont流れに行く〜と一生懸命勉強を推測！はい私はできることをするのIT ！！！〜私はできることは知っている！〜

~GANBATTE!~

2009-05-24T06:30:00.000-07:00

Oh My been so BUSY!~
Seriously...
When to Job-Hunting on friday,
but end up Taking Pict and Shopping,
LOL,it was fun tho..
Oh the New Mall near SG River is Nice,
Japanese Concept..
hahas..~my love!

Yesterday when Out my Old Friend,Kyle..
It was Fun too..altho I was so seriously Sleepy,
hahas.. the day before, I slept for 3 fucking Hours Only~
hahas!!,OK ok..
So we when to get an ice cream at Yami Place,
after that,when to funan for SUBWAY!~
hahas, I bought Tuna!!! lol but end up like eating one or two bites then waste it,
By the time I got home,the food was already soggy,
hahas..i when to fed the cats..its TUNA(fish),
then we proceed on to the NEW BUGIS MALL,
oh its HUGE and NICE!~
a nice place to relax and hang out..
so we when there to catch a MOVIE;
Niht at the Museum 2,i'm rating it 4/5
it's a nice movie!~very funny!!
should catch it!!..hahas..altho i was seriously SLEEPY,
I did catch the funny part..
LOL cause I wasn't ALLOWED to sleep..
Yea Thnks for the Poking+Tickling+biting..
after the movie end when to arab street,
SYISHA!~its LOVE..
and the place was comfortable..
altho there's a weird Rat,
which kept staring at us..
it's SCARY!~...
LOL,..Oh yea Thks Kyle,
it's Nice going out with you..
Always!~ *Hugs hugs..

Oh yea..when home by Train,
by that time I was seriously FUCKING SLEEPY..
and tired~ And add on..
my FUCK..it was so Embarrasing+Disgusted..
IDK whats wrong with me..
I just when to lay down on some random Guy back..
and I had a slow reaction of realising it..
and why do I have to be soo fucking UNLUCKY!~
the guy is a Bangla!!shit!!~
I did apologise and just when to look down..
He seem to like it tho~
keep on smiling~(T-T)
BLUEK!~gosh!~sooo sooo UNLUCKY me,
Why can't it be someone good-looking..
hahas..pfft..When Back and Slept early..
Really can't take it already..

Btw I've been Thinking Alot,
hmm...why do I even Cry that moment?
Theres Plenty out There..Seriously BETTER...

And I'm Loving my LIFE nowadays..
Thanks GOD..
My Life was FUCKED UP recently~
And now it's progessing..
LOVE LOVE LOVE..
I'm LOVING ALL MY FRIENDS..
*kisses to you guys*

OH congrats to me I lose a total of 13kg!~
hahas...I got no appetite to EAT..
STILL
IDK whats wrong.?
But nvrmind,at least I lose weight..
am still FAT
PFFT..

*Thks for those who Tag me//comments*
You Guy's Are LOVED
(^b^)

2009-05-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

OH MY!again today,my Breakfast+Lunch+Breakfast
was Cookies..yes from ytd,not yet finished..
Today,Gosh so not in the MOOD to study,
I was ..in School, but when I got home.. NO MOOD,
plus when I got home it RAINED heavily..
so i dont mind getting drenched...
well,my LUCK,a Guy who was standing next to me,
eventually borrowed me his Umbrella,
well he got 2 tho, so he lend me ONE of it..
so THANKFUL to him..
and so nice of him,
thanks to him I dont get drenched,
tho I feeling SICK now..
OH MY HEAD HURTS!!
I need a cuddling machine or something,
and my COM IS LIKE FUCKING LAGGING!,
dad change the cable from starhub to MIO,singtel..
SUCKY connection;
and I miss eating ICE CREAM from my friend Place;
Marvelous Cream,
oh yes..Japanese Ice cream..so nice..add on..
Hahas..
Going there this SATURDAY (^^)
I'm Loving my Life back..
~I'm Thankful~
Hugs Hugs

LOL,OMG!

i found Hikaru's BLOG!

hahas..

HIKI=Coat west!!

LOL

Well he's not menEgg,

some modelling agency tho..

HE IS MY FAV!!.hahas in CW..lol

link:http://www.eggmgg.jp/special/dokumo/hi-kun/2009/04/

HE LOOK SO GOODY GOODY!~Hahas,so kawai!~

2009-05-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

OMG!
Now I'm feeling so Famish and Lethargic!
Altho I want to Sleep,
I can't,my Body is Aching so Much,
I need a Massage Badly!!;
This Aches is in the way,
of my Motivation..

YES,I had been studying,
yay!it's a good thing,
And Things are going
Lessen,I meant my Stress Level,
Gaining Back my Confident..
Slowly....
It takes Time,
and I'm Thankful so much,

Currently I'm in the situation of Calming my self,
and Motivating my own self!
Ganbatte ne!~;Yes I can do this,
(^.A)

I'm praying this Motivation Stays in me...
Hugs Hugs Hugs..

btw Yesterday Atanshinchi no danshi Epi 5 !!
OMG so funny!!,
2nd bro walk off,after the towel fall off hahas!!,
Koji sudden Kick to 2nd bro and Yamamoto Yusuke..
both of Jealous because 2nd bro help the Mom(horikita maki)
and Masaru(Yamamoto) got hug from mom..LOL!!
Can't wait for Epi 6!!
Funny DRAMA!!

OMG OMG OMG!!
I JUST FOUND SOMETHING AMAZING!
SETO KOJI IN A MV!!(TETRA_FANG!!)
my cute Koji!! and he look oh my so HOT and COOL!!
He loook so Jrockish!
Sharing with everyone!!

Pictures Snap from one of the MV-Destiny Play's

Heres the MV

Heres download Link if you want to download the song
(TETRA-FANG)
(It's songs from his drama,Kamen Rider Kiva btw)

Click on the Image for Download!

-Destiny Play's(Wma)
-Innocent Trap(mp3)
-Individual system(mp3)
-Message(mp3)
-Shout in the moonlight(mp3)
-Silent Shout(mp3)
-Supernova(mp3)

2009-05-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hahas
I had a Great day today
at Arnold's Chix.
When to eat There with my friends
and we were so Hungry..
it's like our Breakfast+Lunch+Dinner
All in 1,
And we order 2 set of meal set for 2,
hahas..
and we were like is it enough,
And as usual....
I always Never finish the food I bought..
LOL
I know it's a waste,
Hahas..
But too Full already,
ate like only one and half chix..
Thanks Vee for finishing my half eaten chix;
and Syuha for finishing my drink..
and Yami for bringing us there..
(^o^)

Oh I started my meal Doing this Food Art,
in due to Swine Flu(^..^)

and Happy 21st Birthday Seto Koji!!
<3>

2009-05-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

Argh!! I'm in LOVE with D'espairsray NEW album REDEEMER!!
I'm Addicted!
to the song
the PV
The Drummer&Singer
YES
TSUKASA&HIZUMI!!
..LOVE LOVE LOVE..
Spend my Weekends with D'espairsray
(^.^)
AGAIN I CHANGE MY BLOG PICT..
Hahas!!
Tom going to Arnolds Chicken!!
YUMMY!!
hahas..finally..
LOL
CHIX CHIX CHIX!!
~I'm gonna ROCK my CHICKEN Tomorrow~

2009-05-16T22:11:00.000-07:00

Hmm Its been A very Dull Weekends,

Alot of Thinking,
Alot of Stressing,
Alot of Eating,

I'm praying hard for the best in my Life,

I don't want to fall ILL again,

enough of me falling ILL and missing alot of things,

in school and LIFE,

now all I want to THINK

is putting my mind straight forward on,

Studies+my Love for my JRock!!

D'espairsray+Clearveil in on my head NOW!!

and I'm in a MOOD of not talking or hearing from anyone..

Just Leave me ALONE!!

I'm Happy being Alone for NOW.

and I don't want to make any ENEMY or anything..

I just need time on my OWN..

I wish I had my old Energy+Confident Back...

so I have edited my music Box..this comes with PV!!

So feel free to watch it!!

I know it's awesome..

if you ask me what I'm doing or anything,

Yes I'm watching my Idols OVER &OVER again,

cause I never get sick and tired of them.

or I be Playing Crossword or watching Funny Ads..

I'm hunting out for more Funny ads..

all of this is to kill my boredom and too cheer me up (^.*)

And I'm Happy with this already ..

I just hope June Hols comes Quick!!

Tsukasa&Hizumi from D'espairsray=<3

2009-05-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

Oh man,

I Just Recover from my Sickness,

Not Completely..

And Tomorrow I have a Test,

I'm Glad that i did my Revision..

Altho I know I would forgot 50% of it when i woke up..

hahas STM..

But I've been Back with my JRock Mood

and I'm Glad..

Lets Find more Jrock Band to Love(^.^)

Expand My JRock LOVE..

And I'm in Love with HisaYoshi from Clearveil

He's SEXY!!

hahas..

Oh and I would simply Love to Share this..Please Watch..Hahas,WARNING,R18..Make sure you're above 18 to watch This ..LOL,This is TOO SEXY!!!!

Masumi=Wizard!!

*Nosebleeds,If every of my Jrock Idol Does this I think I dont Mind Buying all their concert Tix,
And I make sure I'm in the Front Row so I can Watch Clearly..!!*

2009-05-13T03:40:00.000-07:00

TODAY!

My Last Day at Home,

Tomorrow I already have to go to School

Finally my Rest Day is Over,

I'm Feeling so LOST.

Like as if I Don't Know who I am..

And Recently at Home oh man I eat ALOT.

and feel like Vomitting,

But I don't want,

cause I know it's BAD..

I dont want to be anorexic or whatever Shit.

But everytime after I eat I would have this SHIT HEAD,

Eat too much oh my,you going to be FATTER!

Hahas i'm already FAT like a CAT.

FAT like a CAT

SAT on a MAT

GET the BAT

he is fucking LAT

LOL

OH and my Wound is GROSS

I can see the DEEP Cut,

where you can see the inside of the Meat,

White Tissues..

Seriously

This is Scary

I dont even Dare to Touch it.

I want to go JOGGING

like I usually does at night time,

But I was told not to

by my DOCTOR,

cause the cut haven't recover well yet,

It is still BLOODY..

Now my Aim is to get well soon

and Study Hard

(^.^)

~FIGHT OH...OH!!!~

2009-05-12T02:23:00.000-07:00

Yay Finally When to the Doctor to get MC and Medication
And the Doctor gave me 2 day MC
Which is for today and tomorrow..
so it be a TOTAL of 3 day absent from School
WOW!
Hahas,
Episode 4 of Atashinchi no Danshi!!
is OUT!!!
Waiting for the rest of the episodes to be uploaded SOON.
~YAY!!~
Then a lil bit of Tokyo Ghost Trip episode 4;
And I Watched Alot of Dramas Today,
AND Now Koizora Drama!
Koji in it!! As Hiro!!
i dont like his Hair in there..
But he still CUTE!!!
As usually,
LOL
and When I watched it I was like asking myself,
What does it feel to Fall in LOVE?
Seriously?Does it feel so Wonderful?
Cause Seriously,IDK...
All I know is it Brings Alot of Heartache,
This is the Reason Why I Hate to Fall in LOVE,
Dissapointing?I Know..
~LOL~
But Hey The Plot of the Story is Nice,
I've Watched the Movie Before..
And I simply Love and Touched by it...
And This is more LOVE!
About TRUE LOVE&FIRST KISS&FIRST LOVE&TRUST&SACRIFICE
Cause at Last the Guy die of Sickness..(in the Movie tho,drama haven't complete watching)
And I HATE when this happens..
But do ALL these BOLD WORDS? EVEN EXISTS NOW?
Hahas..Don't Think So..
It only Happens in FILMS...
So Happy Happy Always People And Always be Happy with your LOVE ones.
Cause it wouldn't Stay Long,
This is the Reality of Life.

Seto Koji as Hiro!
(^_^)

2009-05-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

I Just Wasted my Time Waking in the Morning,
Thot of taking my Salary $$
But the Bloody Bank haven't Open Yet,
Plus I have to go there In Pain..

Yes it Hurts Alot..
Yesterday Operation..
ADD ON TO....
+Sore Throat
+Flames in Throat
+Headache
+Backache
+Stomach Ache
+Sun Burnt
+A Nagging in the Morning

And Again not Able to go to School;
and I miss alot Already..
And Seriously I really want to go to school;
Because of my Studies;
I seriously Don't Know What I'm Gona DO after I finish my ITE;
When I think Back,Really whats going to be for me
in my Future?
Like I got no Ambition?
Kids grow up with Ambitions like always:
"When grow up i want to become a DOCTOR,TEACHER,CHEF..ETC."
Like seriously How many of those Ambitions when you or anyone
is Young at that time..FULFILLED in having their Ambition PASS?
Maybe Some,Succesor..Plenty..

But for me I already SEE myself as a FAILURE,
The most Important person who should Support You Mostly,
Isn't there for You,

I'm already been fucking Fuck UP in my Life,
and Now Sickness;
additional of Mom not caring for me,
Like seriously Even if I have Motivation in my Life,
and when the person you LOVE say this..
"I dont Care Already What You Want to do...."
yes, I know maybe they don't really meant it.
But seriously;for me when you say that it absorb in me..
Deep inside my Heart..
YES I OWNED UP I'M AN EMOTIONAL SHITTY PERSON OK!

And the thots of...
"You should get a better course,easy to get Jobs,Nursing should be a good COURSE..
Now,Wasted..Somemore,waste Time in ITE..waste $$,why can't you just be like .......,
they so clever...GOOD..."
Comparism,Like Seriously Which Mother Friend Would Boost About,
their Children Being a Failure,
of cause the would tell you the GOOD things..
And Comparing STUDIES in SG and Malaysian..
~OH MAN~

NOW TELL ME HOW DO I GET MOTIVATED WITH THESE COMMENTS KEEP COMING EVERYDAY??

I know anyone would say oh actually, you should prove them wrong...
You should show them You're BETTER..
Nah it doesn't WORKS on me..
I rather have PRAISES..
Even if I don't do that GOOD,
i would like to Hear "Oh its OK,You did your Best..No Pressure.GoodWork,Keep the GDWork Going.."(^_^)
that will Boost my Motivation More..
NOT With Bad Comments.
At least I feel more Relax ..
that boost my motivation to do better..
Rather then "oh man you should Have Done Better,OR Thats it you can get?"

YES human can never be Satisfied with anything,
Greedy Bunch of Living Creatures.
I Rather be A non-living thing.
A BED?A COFFIN?THE STARS?THE MOON?

and OH Seriously I Just Wish I can just DIE Now..
as I'm already feeling Like Dying.

I HOPE MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN TO ME..SOON..ONE FINE DAY?WHEN?

2009-05-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

Argh!

Now I feel so SHITTY;

I got Sun-Burn on my Face,

And Just Now Operation Hurts..

Well when it was Done the Doctor Gave me some Numb Medication,

tho I never felt anything,

But now..It Hurts..

It's Like..When You Press on Very Hard..

And I did Not go to school Just NOW,

Cause of the Operation..

And I'm Missing Alot of Studies Currently.

And I got Tests coming and I haven't Study!!

ARGH!!!

help!

I'm so not in the MOOD to go OUT

even to school,even to nearby Mall..

They Should Have Emitted me to stay in the hospital for few days..

OR MC for a week?

BLAAA...only ONE day..

~Pathethic~

And I bought Alot of USAGI Clips

~Hahas~

2009-05-11T01:12:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey
Konnichiwa!~

Been Busy,with Work;
Hah and Mostly When I came Online;
I usually Played Game on Facebook;
All the Word Search..Etc..
it Help to BOOST my English.
(^^)

I'm Trying my Best to Change;
Be more Alert During Lessons;
Be More Friendly towards Others;
And Never Make Enemies.
Forgive and Forget..

And Trying my best Not to get MAD very easily,
*PEACE*

2009-05-09T00:28:00.000-07:00

Hey I'm Completely Heal Up
Seriously
Awe,After Watching Atashinchi no Danshi
I'm Just Fine
And Thinking Of the Jokes
About the Flower and "Mohd T.O.P bin P.O.T"
Hahaha
(^.^)

I guess I have To go Back to my Normal Self
Watching Alot of Dramas
And Going Crazy Over alot of Ikemens
And Crack Alot of Jokes
And Be Happy+Healthy+Hyper

AND I WANT MORE OF ATASHINCHI NO DANSHI
(^.^)

~~Yamamoto Yusuke+Seto Koji is soo Kawaii!!~~
haha and not to forget Kai(Gazette)
I FOUND HIS BABIES PICTURES
and all of their picts kills me..
I want to HUG them so badly.
You just Have to Adore their Cuteness

Yamamoto Yusuke Body Kills me *nosebleeds~

KOJI PICTURES&BABIES PICTURES(OH how cute!!)

AND ALOT OF KAI(GAZETTE)BABY PICTURES!!
oh he's so Cute!!

And Him CUTE as Always(His SMILE!!Shows his Baby face Side!!)
hugs hugs

~I WANT TO HUG THEM ALL!!~

2009-05-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

Wow I'm So Mad Just Now
But if You see my POST below..
Like Seriously PISS OFF..Man..
And no one should be Offended;Like I said
Below.If You Scroll DOWN;
Please FUCK OFF if you feel Offended;
Like Seriously I want To believe You're A nice Kid
But I can't;You're just too Bitchy..
I'm Sorry
Lemme Have a Break,
And I Think everything will be Fine Back..

Help me Mohd Ruki bin Puki!!
Lol
(*_^)

2009-05-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!
Kill me NOW like Seriously
Fucking Fuck UP..That I feel Like ARGH!!!!
MNDEKJT4WRHBKJRT
Throwing Anything That is near me;
Or Beat Someone Up;Kill Someone;
Like Seriously I just Wasted My Fucking FUCK UP Time ;
For Fucking Going to the Fucking Shop;
Which they eventually say that the PAY is Today;
I'm Already too Fuck'd Up that they change the Day from Friday to Sat then to Sun
AND NOW FUCKING MONDAY!!
Thanks for Wasting my Fucking Life
and add on my Stressness LIKE SERIOUSLY;
I have enough Stressness in my Life rite now,
Don't need MORE PLEASE!!
Hey Guys Thanks For trying to cheer me up;
Yes you guys;
Syuha,Aida,Afandi and Syafiq
Thanks Alot...
But I'm too Fuck'd Up
I know You guys are too,
And I would like to apologise for being too Moody
Idk Man I'm like so Fuck'd Up.
Man I really need to control my Anger and Mood nowadays
I'm Just Mad at myself sometimes.
IDK whats wrong with me,like seriously;
I get so Angry at all lil things;
I'm not Eating Well;
I always feel like Vomitting after I eat;
And sometimes I feel like qutting School;
Cause I have no interest in Studies anymore..
I dont know why,I really want to Get Good Grades,
And to always say to myself I should study but I never did;
and I get very lethargic soo much recently;
Like as if I'm going to Die soon;
OH I WISH I WAS ABOUT TO DIE,
And on Monday I got to go to NUH again
for second appointment;
Idk do some core needle thing;
And I'm like seriously dk what is that..
But I hope It would KILL ME.
ARGH!!!!!
Wanna know my wish Now?
is cut off my heart and give to someone who wish to live a longer LIFE.
And IDK why I'm like having difficulties in breathing nowadays..
Idk why?symptoms of Dying I think;
And I have to keep breathing slowly..
so I can control my Anger,a long deep breathe...
like every Second;
Like seriously My Life was good during the Hols at least;
After School Open everything turn back to BAD
from BAD to WORST
and I nvr really feel so Good in Life always;
Only that time IDK why;
altho I have to Work Alot and feel so Tired;
I still feel Happy at least;
and when i get sick at least people care;
and have alot of Jokes with my Work friends;
and a good life..I really miss those Days;
Like Really Really...
And NOW things have to go back to my OLD fucking Life.
ALL FUCK'D UP AND SHITS;
But hey at least I still have my friends.
Love you guys Alot,
Thanks for being there for me;
Hugs Hugs Hugs
And to my Love Bitch
Take Care of Your Flower From
Your BoyFriend
"Mohd T.O.P bin P.O.T"
LOL
A Koreamly=Korean+Malay
Haha..That Joke really Burst My Mood for a while..
Thanks to you all..
This is why I Will Always Treasure our friendship
And I hate it when we all start school and have lesser time to hang out.
I MISS ALL OF YOU TOO MUCH!!
I want everyone bck..except for that BITCH which cause ALL Shit to Happen
It not only Affect our friendship but our LIFE+ATMOSPHERE+EVERYTHING!!
FUCK OFF LA!
everything was just fine until You try to Fit IN'
And Congrats You WON!!
Happy NOW??
Oh my? These type of people still exists?
I rather have a DRAG QUEEN as a friend like seriously...
*criesssss
I'M LIKE SERIOUSLY TOO PISS OFF NOW!!
FUCK YOU!!
%RY*&&%^R^%T&^T(T(&^F*^RE^$%#E^%*&IFVGO&TF^%&G&^TR^%

2009-05-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

Haha Man Seriously I'm Like Listening to Mareydi†Creia
~LOL~
And I'm so SHOCKED
Kai former Band,
OMG!

And I'm Still Searching for Ruki Former Band in MP3 version
Kar＋te＝zyAnose [切茜 Setsu akane?] <
HELP!

haha ruki first band Mikoto and he is known as [楓, Kaede]
oh my heaven;
Imagining calling Ruki by "Kaede","Kirihi","Setsu akane"...

Uruha formerly known as "Kyouki"
Reita "Reiki"
Aoi "Natsume"

OH MY GAZETTE
haha

let's see them young

(^.^)

(Ma'die Kusse)

(Uruha!)

(Reita!)

(Aoi!)

(Kai!)

(Ruki!)
HAHA THIS IS HOW THEY LOOK IN FORMER BAND!
OH MY HOW I LIKE HOW THEY LOOK NOW
AMAZINGLY SEXY&HOT NOW!

2009-05-05T23:11:00.000-07:00

SCHOOL Connection Sucks

And I feel Like VOMITING,

My Head Hurts

And there's Gonna be a Test Later

Our WAD teacher isn't here,and everyone is like Playing Games..

I Hate this Feeling NOW.
~HELP!~

2009-05-05T05:39:00.000-07:00
~la la la la la~

I Think I'm Sick In The Brain

Today I'm like totally Sick;
Headache+Backache+Fever+Shitness
hah Complete MAN.
Btw I Posted About Quiting Work
HaHa,Like Seriously I am, SOON;
After the 3rd Month
Which is coming soon :)
Yay!Yay!
So I have to go to another Interview Again?
Oh man!~But It's OK

~Life Sucks~

Hop! Hop! Hop!
Let's Watch More Of Kai Cuteness
isn't he's adorable!!
awee KAWAII!~
Kai with the Dimple>>

MIYAVI KISSING KAI!!~IT'S JUST SO CUTE

2009-05-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

OMG it's Been Ages Since I Cry About Someone'
Like Seriously'
I Dont Know what The Fuck Wrong With Me
I guess my Head Wire is Losing or electrocuted;
OR I can say is My Temperature is getting High
I'm getting SICK.. again? omg,
can i JUST die and get over with LIFE now,
And Tom i got a test which i studied on SATURDAY;
and now with my Fucked UP'd head
I don't think i can remember ONE single shit,
even if I remember also; i'm just to FUCK'D up to think anything
expecially NOW!

And these few days I've been so FUCKED'D up,
i get MAD at every lil things which bothers me ALOT,
every person who talks to me will tend to be scolded;
or I'm just PISS off with everything I do or DONE,
Well I'm sorry PEOPLE
IDK whats wrong with me nowadays
FUCK SHIT KANINA CIBAI
I just feel like killing someone
or at least smash something UP (my face?)
I think i'm just carried awy with alot of SHIT
SHIT HAPPENS yea..so Does LUCK,
maybe today is just a SHITTY day for me,
TOM or next time would be my HAPPY days.
FUUHHH... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10..
haha i need to attend an anger management course NOW!
LIKE REALLY REALLY;
I'm going Crazy nowadays,
I'm too worried about every lil STUFF,
that i'm not doing things well
and thinking non-straight,WTF is WRONG with ME!
*knock head on wall*
OMG REMIND ME TO GO OUT AT NIGHT ALONE,
stroll along the Park,look at the MOON and stars at NIGHT,
I usually do that..But nowadays SELDOM;
like I have Time?I wish I can Steal Time;Freeze Time,
Shit..FUCKING SHIT.
I really Hate This Feeling LAAAAA...
I Seriously Need Entertainment OR At Least Give Back What I Got Last Time.
(^^)

HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY
it's OK Ruki-san is here!!
AWE I wish this is soo fucking TRUE
Fantasy is better then Suffering w/out anything to occupy your HEAD..
RUKI HUGS HUGS

EVEN GAZETTE IS HAPPY!,KAI&AOI IS KAWAII!!,HAPPY HAPPY
*Runsss runs runs runs around waving hands in the air..

2009-05-04T04:46:00.000-07:00

SPAM SPAM ON ガゼット CUTENESS!!

GAZETTE FUNNY&KAWAII MOMENT'S!!

2009-05-04T04:15:00.000-07:00

OMG! i Totally Forgot!
Today is Hiroto's Birthday,
Happy Birthday Hiroto-sama.
<3

愛しています寛
I LOVE YOU HIROTO

2009-05-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

OMG!!

After One now Another

God Make This End Fast!

But Hey my Friends I'm Always here to Be there For you OK,

it's ok,In Life there's Always the Bad & Good Part;

This is Life man,I know It SUCKS TO THE CORE!

yea,but theres always the sweet life SOON

(^-^)

Man What About ME?

HAHA i myself also DON'T KNOW..

let's now Think of ?? School & results & Work fully..

I'm HAPPY and SAD at the same time for myself and my Friends.

MIX-UP!

LEMME have Ruki and all is settle (^-*)

2009-05-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

I watched Junjou Romantica Season 2.Again

wohoo..And i'm Loving it BADLY,

how usagi-san LOVE misaki.

OH man. i wish I was Misaki..

Can i have a Love life like Them.(^P^)

('^')
"Misaki I Love You.."

2009-05-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

Today No Work..on a SATURDAY.

I'm so Proud of Myself, of cleaning the ROOM all by myself

& doing my notes+Study for my upcoming TEST.

UNIT 2 Intranets,Extranets,IntraBusiness (ERP).

What is Intranet? a networks that connects a company with its employees.

What is Extranet? a networks that connects a company with its suppliers and distributors.

Intrabusiness? it's not in POM so i dont quite remember LOL. haha..

Btw anyone interested in having my POM notes.. man i paid for it for 14 bucks for my own revision.now it's not for use?LOL. but it worth it..i'm wiling to give it for FREE.let's share the knowledge.don't be selfish ('U')

And Now let's Play Games.. as Usual..woohooo...

Let's Play Hotel626 again.

here's the site http://www.hotel626.com/.

(it is available online from 6pm-6am)

~Enjoying it~

~not for the faint hearted~

2009-05-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

Work!,damn just got Back,
Today is just so Fuck'd Up...
I got to work Late and ++
I'm fucking Exhausted from Work;
But it's a GOOD thing Tomorrow NO work,
YAY! so i have to work on Sunday.
from 11-9;and my buddy have to work from 11-5;
Hey and i can't go back with her.(*cries)
can i request an early departure? Monday i got sch in the Morning man;
And i havent' yet study for my Upcoming Test on Tuesday,
Unit 2 of ERP.wohooo.. need to do some Notes.first.
And nowadays my eyes are getting blurer.
Need new Glasses!!...But the black one for me is Fine.:)
Let's not waste $$ on glasses,rather buy contact lens.
haha i guess due to too much of using the Computer.
Maybe i shouldn't Use too much, but that would make my Life
pretty boring; haha.

Argh I need a Break! and $$$ haha.Please make 8th of May come fast,
so i will get my salary; so i can GO OUT!!woohooo..
let $$ fall from the sky..PLEASE

And I'm Considering of Quiting my work place soon;
Find a new place,which have a Reasonable salary!
Anyone knows of any place? let it Not be Fnb;
It just Sucks working in food industry;Plus it's uncool!
haha..lets find a COOLER work environment;...
(^^)

haha And i found Gazette Old pictures..

and omg this is ruki??hahaha..Young Ruki

I need RUKI to Sex me UP now!!
I'm so Bored!!

2009-05-01T00:04:00.000-07:00

~RUKI SAVE ME FROM MY LIFE!~

~AND MAKE ME YOUR BRIDE!~

愛しています

2009-04-30T22:14:00.000-07:00

OH Shit!
It's just so Fuck'd UP now!!;
and this is my second fucking POST,
I'm just So Fucked Up now,
Thinking that i Have to Work Later;
and it's Labour Day;holiday,
while all the people are enjoying their holiday;
ME have to work!,well I'm not complaining about going to work;
or am i thinking that work is SHIT,
just that damn i'm fucking Tired man!,
Imagine from morning until NOW!,
both one after another both parents ,
keep babbling about house chores and all shit..
and it's always me who have to hear it,
and bloody siblings keep dissapearing from home.so who else to blame on ? duh me!!
and now I'm working and schooling at the SAME TIME!
i'm much exhausted;
so i barely have time even to pamper myself.
i got to think about studies plus now i'm in yr 2;
and how to find $$ by working, and additional of this babbling??
what are the others doing;
in my house?i dont blame my parents..
they are doing most of the works.. but my sis and bro,
DAMN,I know they are tired too, everyone is tired..
both are still schooling,so am i + work!,
and have you seen how i work at my workplace it's not sitting on the chair and shake legs..
definedly not!;but at least HELP
our parents up man.. don't always make me help them only..
what am i'm the only child here?yea i wish i was,so i get all the pamper.

And mom was like asking me "so do you think you can go to poly?"
my answer was " i dont know..".

And plus there other problems which haunts me too,
About my sickness.Idk, maybe i'm thinking negative;
But man i wish i die soon,get over with Life.
Living in this World is just for awhile;everyone will die one day,
So why wait so long, the longer i live in this world.the more problem,
and more sins...rather get over with life and be death,rest in peace in my tomb.

I so need Entertainment NOW!.
I miss alot of People!, Please come back to me..
*Cries..
I know i'm being emotionally SHIT,but wtf cares;

Thinking about friends?and talking to alot of people yesterday definedly,
about real friends..i'm thinking about mine..
I'm always here for my friends,hearing your problems;from one friend to another,
i'm Please to be there for you guys;i do tell my problems to some of my close friends.
like Syuha,Aida.. they are the bestest friends..thks for being there for me girls.
But theres just some problems i dont comfortable telling anyone.. not even myself;
yea BULLSHIT i know;i'm just not confident..i'm always not..

I used to keep diaries; but damn theres plenty of KEPO people who read my privacy,
and they just can't keep quite about it. so why the need to keep one.
and blog. duh it's public.. of coz you can't really let all your problems here right..

and Thats all i can think for now; Blank (o_O)
~Ja ne~
さようなら

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